H0rny Jail v6.9 🥴🔨

[bonerinsweatpants]

never would have PEGGED sofia as a gym rat

[jeanxseberg]

Sofia heard one joke about her having a flat ass in the selfie thread and she's been posting from the leg press at Planet Fitness ever since

[cisgender woman]

Sept 12, 2024 12:38:50 GMT -5 jeanxseberg said:

Sofia heard one joke about her having a flat ass in the selfie thread and she's been posting from the leg press at Planet Fitness ever since

FACTS

[cisgender woman]

I’m the antifa super soldier haha

[giorgio merauder]

Sept 12, 2024 11:25:48 GMT -5 cisgender woman said:

Sept 12, 2024 7:29:22 GMT -5 cfloyd3 said:

Just do squats, everything else is garbage.

KETTLE BELL SWINGS > ALL

joe rogan ass post 

[carl carlson]

Sept 12, 2024 7:29:22 GMT -5 cfloyd3 said:

Just do deadlifts, everything else is garbage.

[Hotdogscominurway]

Sept 12, 2024 17:24:31 GMT -5 carl carlson said:

Sept 12, 2024 7:29:22 GMT -5 cfloyd3 said:

Just remember to have fun, everything else is garbage.

[Dick Warlock]

now you're talkin

[kwame]

locked up overseas

[accidentalcharm]

Sofia after a long day working out at the gym

SPOILER: Click to show

J/K!!

I just wanted to use that stupid meme because it makes me laugh and I still text it to friends when they ask how I’m doing

[Talentless Elvis Costello]

Sept 12, 2024 7:29:22 GMT -5 cfloyd3 said:

Just do squats, everything else is garbage.

for strength & general tone, sure

but not if you tryna get that bubble

[fishtalk i like (the) Sundays]

Sofia has a very long back.

[fishtalk i like (the) Sundays]

Ive got so many sw stories, but I want to remind everyone that I’m gross and old and mid at sex - these aren’t ego trips ???

SPOILER: Click to show

Been thirsting over this elusive woman for months now, she rarely posts and has ghosted me many times. I would never usually chase a woman like this but I couldn’t get her out of my mind, she’s pretty skinny with small perky tits and much more ass than you’d expect? She kind of looks like Celine Dion’s hard rocking sister - very hot to I Canadian like me. Eventually met up and she’s moving away, never posts because she has a regular client base for the most part… when we met she tells me she doesn’t really enjoy oral beyond getting worked up for sex and I’m like… devastated, cause that’s what I’m there for but fine, I ask if she’d prefer I didn’t go down on her at all and she’s like “no, I enjoy it a bit” and so I repeat what she told me she likes and tell her if I’m out of line to say so. It feels very goofy and embarrassing to go down on some woman and be all like slow and sensual and try to get her in the mood after she’s just told you it’s not really for her…. But I did anyway, it wasn’t hubris, i just wanted to enjoy myself a bit. I did a lot and never even touched her pussy, checked in constantly to make sure everything was cool. And then she rested her feet on my shoulders and it felt like she melted into me, I know I sound like a creep but that was the moment I was like “oh she’s enjoying this” and I started using my tongue on the hood of her clit a bit and asked if I should stop but she said not to and not even a minute later she came (hard?) and pushed me off her and was like “wtf just happened?!?!” And I’m like “sorry?? I thought I was being respectful??” And she goes “no, I can’t believe I just came, i didn’t think .. but I did. I did… you don’t understand what a short list I’ve gotta add you to now”. And it feels like she’s literally processing what just happened and she gets cold so we cuddle and have some side by side sex- my favourite position, her suggestion. My time is almost up and she asks if I want to do doggy, which yes…. But as she turns over I’m reminded of what a nice butt she’s got and ask if I can eat her ass out for a minute and she’s like “at this point you can do whatever you want” and that’s how I killed the session. Then afterwards she drops the fact that she’s eyetalian and it all made sense, I’m blindly thirsty for eyetalian women, it’s embarrassing. She saved my number and said that any time she’s out here I can text her and jump the line of other people responding to her ad.

[gregor]

re: sw- paying for it sounds hot but mostly just feeding my humiliation kink and “having” to pay I guess?

[fishtalk i like (the) Sundays]

SPOILER: Click to show

wen't back to see that woman with the tiny pussy before she left and she shaved her armpits to show me that she’s got them tattooed with flowers, I think she told me last time but it got lost in translation?? That shit was somehow such a huge turn on??? I really like oddly placed tattoos and she’s got zero work elsewhere so it just seemed wild?? I want my armpit tatttooed now too. Anyway, that shit floored me and I thought it was very cool.

I’m switching between soft sex and going down on her and then turn her over and switch between soft sex and eating her ass and she starts saying she loves me and we laugh cause she’s like “just right now, I don’t mean it” and side by side is the best position with this woman cause I can use my hand to stop myself from going too deep and we can both enjoy ourselves. She’s telling not to cum/not to stop and she cums and I look at the clock and my time is up so I say do and she’s like “are you close? I’ll give you a few minutes” and I say “how close can I be with you telling me not to cum for the last two minutes?” Which I’m just joking about and she goes “forget about that, just focus on yourself” and we try but I know it’s not going to happen so I say so and she says “ok I’ll give you 3 minute hand job” and bless her heart for the offer but I tell her I’m nowhere near there but I had a great time/services rendered.

To which she responds “no it’s a 3 minute handjob, I want you to finish before you go”. And I didn’t really understand but I’m like “ok”. At this point she lubes up her hand and straddles me with her pussy in my face and goes “eat my pussy and match my rhythm” and yeah… 3 minute hand job. Hand jobs fucking rock and that shit was a mess, we had to drippini real quick but she was very nice about it.

[AL]

Serious question:

Is anyone ever truly released from horny jail? Or do you just get a day pass every once in a while?

[itii]

I like to think that being a recidivist adds to my bad boy mystique

[amplifiedohms]

Just saw a 70+ year old woman with either a bbl or the greatest ass I've ever seen

[Dick Warlock]

Get it, granny

[jimmyspudboy]

TWU

[Rectilian conspiracy]

Maybe it was a situation like that story about the poor couple at Christmas and the woman sells her beautiful hair to buy the man a watch and the man sells his wrist to buy her a comb except with plastic surgery

[Rectilian conspiracy]

So like she was actually a beautiful young woman who sold her face fat or something to buy her boyfriend something but then he ironically sold a thing necessary to enjoy the gift to get her a bbl and I guess they could still enjoy the big butt even though she looks old so maybe it’s not really a good analogy never mind

[itii]

If more people read o henry, horny jail would be less crowded

[gregor]

Not a porn guy but it sure does hot different at 6:00am

[codync]

had crazy hot dreams last night, got damn

[Rectilian conspiracy]

Ok I’ve been thinking about it more, got a good story. She was a beautiful young woman cursed with a flat ass. Her boyfriend is a 100 percent pure ass man but never mentions it because he just loves her but she knows because she found his pornhub history or something. So she wants to surprise him with a big beautiful butt, and tells the plastic surgeon to use whatever fat he needs. The surgeon secretly has some reason he dislikes this woman and her boyfriend (I haven’t figured this part out yet) and takes waaaay too much fat from her face, leaving her looking like xtremely old. But when the lady goes to show the boyfriend her new ass, it turns out that it was actually his roommate watching all the enormous ass porn (and maybe the surgeon is his roommate or something and they don’t get along idk)

[antipasto]

She takes the fat from her (large) titties and has it moved to her butt. he sits through a clockwork orange-style experiment trial to condition himself to be a boob guy instead. He is paid $1000 for this, which he then uses to buy her a bunch of very nice (large) bras for her

[twocripplesdancing]

Brothers, sisters - we out.

[MMST3K]

Dr. Kellogg would be ashamed. "I simply had to stop all these degenerates from nutting all the time"- Dr. Kellogg (1901)

[Cholo Molester]

Sept 20, 2024 18:25:29 GMT -5 MMST3K said:

Dr. Kellogg would be ashamed. "I simply had to stop all these degenerates from nutting all the time"- Dr. Kellogg (1901)

give me a breakdown on how you arrived at this post. 

I want to understand....