jermojames
Turgid Member
Posts: 1,235
Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
Likes: 3,988
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Post by jermojames on Jun 14, 2023 8:12:37 GMT -5
Back on the apps and wow what a sucker. Paid actual human money for Hinge and OKC premium because I am mid af. I actually think I look pretty good but I'm 42 which might as well be 60. BTW I can't really prove this, but I'm really seeing a lot of 40+ looking women who are somehow 39. Anyways, let me just cite a couple red flags for me on these apps that are as common as plague Big hats at the beach- lady you look like the wicker witch of the east coast. Hats with big brims are desighned to make sucking dick at the beach impossible. It's like those cones from the vet. No thank you. dirty martinis/whiskey- OH YOU BAD GIRL YOU. This woman will suck your dick for 60s after a month of dating and she has a dog she will tend to at in/convenient times to get out of sucking your dick looking for honesty/emotional intelligence- sure but lest we forget you're 44 IRL and 39 on app. Sorry you caught all your exes jerking off after you pretended to fall asleep to catch them jerking off. Coulda taken your dentures out and sucked that dick right there and maybe saved the relationship. the NYT crossword puzzle/wordle/bar trivia- we get it, you got your masters. here's one that should have smoke coming out of your ears: 14 across- seven letter word, clue: the only job you're not qualified for with that degree and that lazy neck (starts and ends with BΒ *close parentheses avoid smiley*) OK IM DONE. Obviously I am not ready for anything and don't deserve to get any 14 acrosses any time soon. Please forgive me. sounds like you need a reliable hooker instead of an actual life partner both unicorns in my experience |
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Post by escapedfromthevalley on Jun 14, 2023 9:30:04 GMT -5
i would suck dick at least once a day if provided the opportunity. Do you have a book or newsletter I can purchase for my wife? |
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Post by Reasonablepizza518 on Jun 14, 2023 11:22:14 GMT -5
We were in the car for like 20 minutes but I think some Movielife, Joyce Manor, and Mountain Goats songs came on shuffle and I couldn't help myself. Were the windows rolled down or nah? It was beautiful out yesterday so they sure were. |
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MMST3K
Pulsating Member
re-education camp success story
Antbaby Machete Squad Leader
Posts: 33,789 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018 Likes: 36,134 
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Post by MMST3K on Jun 14, 2023 11:33:35 GMT -5
So I'm just gonna ask it then. Why did you do that? Also I hope you weren't listening to No Children when that happened cause wow that would make it it so much worse.
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johnny two cool
Pulsating Member
haunted by chalie, ray, Jerome garcia
Posts: 21,498
Join Date: Jul 13, 2020
Likes: 52,315
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Post by johnny two cool on Jun 14, 2023 11:36:09 GMT -5
going to make smoked al pastor with my wonderful gf all summer long π₯°π₯°
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Post by escapedfromthevalley on Jun 14, 2023 11:42:35 GMT -5
going to make smoked al pastor with my wonderful gf all summer long π₯°π₯° I assume this is a euphemism? |
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nastyy
Pulsating Member
bday twins with erin micklow <3
Posts: 20,332
Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
Likes: 90,513
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Post by nastyy on Jun 14, 2023 11:45:17 GMT -5
going to make smoked al pastor with my wonderful gf all summer long π₯°π₯° I assume this is a euphemism? al pastor, pork, goc, porkin the goc... i see what you're sayin |
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Post by Reasonablepizza518 on Jun 14, 2023 11:50:00 GMT -5
So I'm just gonna ask it then. Why did you do that? Also I hope you weren't listening to No Children when that happened cause wow that would make it it so much worse. I briefly explained it on the last page, but I wasn't singing out loud. I tried to talk to her and we were both getting upset so eventually we kind of gave up. At that point is was super uncomfortable so I was singing to myself as a distraction and to break the awkward silence. |
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MMST3K
Pulsating Member
re-education camp success story
Antbaby Machete Squad Leader
Posts: 33,789 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018 Likes: 36,134
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Post by MMST3K on Jun 14, 2023 11:59:02 GMT -5
I briefly explained it on the last page, but I wasn't singing out loud. I tried to talk to her and we were both getting upset so eventually we kind of gave up. At that point is was super uncomfortable so I was singing to myself as a distraction and to break the awkward silence. honestly this is some Larry David shit and i salute you for it |
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Depeche Mode
Turgid Member
Posts: 1,988 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018 Likes: 5,141
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Post by Depeche Mode on Jun 14, 2023 12:09:46 GMT -5
goin' on a date tonight. out for a bike ride and some ice cream. she's cool and i've known her for years, she hates my ex and i hate hers so if nothing else there's that.
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theonefreeman
Throbbing Member
Posts: 3,273
Join Date: Jul 1, 2018
Likes: 9,702
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Post by theonefreeman on Jun 14, 2023 12:39:10 GMT -5
Buying my wife a big, floppy hat for the summer.
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Post by escapedfromthevalley on Jun 14, 2023 13:17:15 GMT -5
Recent relational trouble with Mrs. Escaped resulted in a full weekend of me rage-working outside. On the upside it pushed me through my fitness plateau and I dropped another 5 lbs. Also the yard is looking great. On the downside, and as weird as it sounds, this is pretty much the first time that we've had any problems at all and it fucking sucks. Confident the 20 year foundation we've built is strong enough to withstand whatever is going on now but it's still not ideal at the moment.
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Pat
Pulsating Member
bodybuilder monica lewisnky
various whatnots
Posts: 13,839
Join Date: Oct 28, 2018
Likes: 23,422
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Post by Pat on Jun 14, 2023 13:19:36 GMT -5
Recent relational trouble with Mrs. Escaped resulted in a full weekend of me rage-working outside. On the upside it pushed me through my fitness plateau and I dropped another 5 lbs. Also the yard is looking great. On the downside, and as weird as it sounds, this is pretty much the first time that we've had any problems at all and it fucking sucks. Confident the 20 year foundation we've built is strong enough to withstand whatever is going on now but it's still not ideal at the moment.
yo if you ever need an example of "it could be worse" feel free to explain me to her.
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AL πβ¨π¦
Pulsating Member
365 party boy
Posts: 12,675
Join Date: Mar 9, 2021
Likes: 40,291
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Post by AL πβ¨π¦ on Jun 14, 2023 13:24:36 GMT -5
Recent relational trouble with Mrs. Escaped resulted in a full weekend of me rage-working outside. On the upside it pushed me through my fitness plateau and I dropped another 5 lbs. Also the yard is looking great. On the downside, and as weird as it sounds, this is pretty much the first time that we've had any problems at all and it fucking sucks. Confident the 20 year foundation we've built is strong enough to withstand whatever is going on now but it's still not ideal at the moment. I need to do that instead of just getting depressed and scrolling my phone and making myself more upset |
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Post by ππππππππππππ on Jun 14, 2023 13:28:27 GMT -5
Recent relational trouble with Mrs. Escaped resulted in a full weekend of me rage-working outside. On the upside it pushed me through my fitness plateau and I dropped another 5 lbs. Also the yard is looking great. On the downside, and as weird as it sounds, this is pretty much the first time that we've had any problems at all and it fucking sucks. Confident the 20 year foundation we've built is strong enough to withstand whatever is going on now but it's still not ideal at the moment. i would suck dick at least once a day if provided the opportunity. Do you have a book or newsletter I can purchase for my wife? |
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Post by escapedfromthevalley on Jun 14, 2023 13:38:35 GMT -5
Recent relational trouble with Mrs. Escaped resulted in a full weekend of me rage-working outside. On the upside it pushed me through my fitness plateau and I dropped another 5 lbs. Also the yard is looking great. On the downside, and as weird as it sounds, this is pretty much the first time that we've had any problems at all and it fucking sucks. Confident the 20 year foundation we've built is strong enough to withstand whatever is going on now but it's still not ideal at the moment. I need to do that instead of just getting depressed and scrolling my phone and making myself more upset It shocking how short a distance a wheelbarrow flys when thrown from an overhead position. In hindsight, I wish I'd created more inertia, hammer-toss style. Would have been much more satisfying |
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jermojames
Turgid Member
Posts: 1,235
Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
Likes: 3,988
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Post by jermojames on Jun 14, 2023 14:26:04 GMT -5
gym/fitness/home improvement projects are definitely anti-depressants
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stephanie
Pulsating Member
goth icon
Posts: 21,300 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018 Likes: 32,682 
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Post by stephanie on Jun 14, 2023 17:08:00 GMT -5
newsletter is in the works but i do teach a weekly class
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AL πβ¨π¦
Pulsating Member
365 party boy
Posts: 12,675
Join Date: Mar 9, 2021
Likes: 40,291
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Post by AL πβ¨π¦ on Jun 14, 2023 17:48:10 GMT -5
Home improvement projects are historically detrimental to my mental health but you do you king
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chaospouch
Pulsating Member
30 minutes delicate
Posts: 16,538
Join Date: Jul 7, 2018
Likes: 53,393
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Post by chaospouch on Jun 14, 2023 17:53:39 GMT -5
Back on the apps and wow what a sucker. Paid actual human money for Hinge and OKC premium because I am mid af. I actually think I look pretty good but I'm 42 which might as well be 60. BTW I can't really prove this, but I'm really seeing a lot of 40+ looking women who are somehow 39. Anyways, let me just cite a couple red flags for me on these apps that are as common as plague Big hats at the beach- lady you look like the wicker witch of the east coast. Hats with big brims are desighned to make sucking dick at the beach impossible. It's like those cones from the vet. No thank you. dirty martinis/whiskey- OH YOU BAD GIRL YOU. This woman will suck your dick for 60s after a month of dating and she has a dog she will tend to at in/convenient times to get out of sucking your dick looking for honesty/emotional intelligence- sure but lest we forget you're 44 IRL and 39 on app. Sorry you caught all your exes jerking off after you pretended to fall asleep to catch them jerking off. Coulda taken your dentures out and sucked that dick right there and maybe saved the relationship. the NYT crossword puzzle/wordle/bar trivia- we get it, you got your masters. here's one that should have smoke coming out of your ears: 14 across- seven letter word, clue: the only job you're not qualified for with that degree and that lazy neck (starts and ends with BΒ *close parentheses avoid smiley*) OK IM DONE. Obviously I am not ready for anything and don't deserve to get any 14 acrosses any time soon. Please forgive me. Lmao this is real shit I had a lot of fun serial dating via apps but wooo boy was that shit exhausting Also almost when I immediately turned 40 the whole vibe changed and got v unfun v quickly bc people are fucking insane man |
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chaospouch
Pulsating Member
30 minutes delicate
Posts: 16,538
Join Date: Jul 7, 2018
Likes: 53,393
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Post by chaospouch on Jun 14, 2023 17:54:51 GMT -5
And by ppl I meant single women over the age of 39
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Post by escapedfromthevalley on Jun 14, 2023 21:28:46 GMT -5
Home improvement projects are historically detrimental to my mental health but you do you king home improvement can for sure be stressful as fuck, but yard work is something I can just mindlessly and happily work myself to exhaustion doing. Definitely therapeutic |
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mindlis
Turgid Member
Posts: 1,906
Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
Likes: 1,801
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Post by mindlis on Jun 15, 2023 8:06:54 GMT -5
I can only make it like 3 minutes on the app before feeling like I'm way exposed or getting scared I'm gonna see on there again too
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Post by ππππππππππππ on Jun 15, 2023 11:02:55 GMT -5
I can only make it like 3 minutes on the app before feeling like I'm way exposed or getting scared I'm gonna see on there again too you can block people you know on most apps |
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Post by Osama Vinladen JimΓ©nez LΓ³pezπ
π on Jun 15, 2023 13:33:24 GMT -5
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antipasto
Pulsating Member
Posts: 7,044
Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
Likes: 24,529
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Post by antipasto on Jun 15, 2023 13:39:21 GMT -5
Off Steam is a weird name for a dog
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Ronaldo Artest
Pulsating Member
Antifa Supersoldier
Posts: 6,546
Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
Likes: 17,682
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Post by Ronaldo Artest on Jun 15, 2023 14:32:03 GMT -5
Penn St is just sex pest university
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not Worship
Pulsating Member
this is the very last thing i have ever read, gootbye
Posts: 39,121
Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
Likes: 95,589
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Post by not Worship on Jun 15, 2023 14:41:20 GMT -5
pedo state #1
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mindlis
Turgid Member
Posts: 1,906
Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
Likes: 1,801
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Post by mindlis on Jun 16, 2023 7:31:36 GMT -5
Shout-out to all the woman on hinge that I saw last year that are still on there
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Post by Untalented Elvis Costello on Jun 16, 2023 8:20:06 GMT -5
me and jibbons stan a LGTQIA+ queen this was one of my For ITID's Eyes Only posts and he didnt even like it |
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