ITID
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least likely to win at literally anything
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Post by ITID on Dec 6, 2023 17:26:01 GMT -5
Feeling really tempted to have the opening up the relationship conversation. Spoilering in case people don't want to read my personal bullshit. Things are not going well with the missus -- I feel like we keep beating around the bush of an eventual divorce. Which is heartbreaking because I feel like we actually get along 80-90% of the time. It seems like the only way we can exist in the home without breaking down is to essentially detach to the point where we act like roommates/co-workers. Separating is near impossible because I have zero family/friends in the area to stay with, the rent situation is insane, and I need to around to support the kids every day. Part of me wants to renovate the basement into my own apartment, but I feel like that level of weirdness is going to fuck up our kids (more than an amicable loveless marriage would).
I'm incredibly lonely (it's been years since we've had any meaningful connection), but I worry that opening the relationship will put that final nail in the coffin of the relationship and introduce an overwhelmingly negative vibe in the home. I think telling her you want to put a full bath in the basement would go a long way in opening up a couple needed conversations. If money and childcare matter, being less accessible and wasting money isn't particularly ideal for anyone. It sounds like you're more or less roommates now, so making it more spatially in line doesn't seem beyond the pale. As for basement dad fucking up the kids, if y'all's relationship is dead it's going to impact the kids regardless. Having separate rooms is prolly easier on them than the experience that comes with juggling time schedules, adjusting to new living spaces and the fights that come with coordination between 2 people moving their lives in different directions and their entitlements. With all that to do, I'm not entirely sure opening up the relationship should be on the stack
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Cholo Molester
Pulsating Member
our very own Gideon Yago 🌚
off the duster
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Post by Cholo Molester on Dec 6, 2023 17:26:59 GMT -5
she's got some huge bazonkas on her
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ITID
Pulsating Member
least likely to win at literally anything
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Post by ITID on Dec 6, 2023 17:29:53 GMT -5
Lol at this shit only lasting like 3 months I can fix her
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ITID
Pulsating Member
least likely to win at literally anything
Posts: 22,973 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
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Post by ITID on Dec 6, 2023 17:49:36 GMT -5
Also also, shout out to TK for having the chutzpah to move into evan mathis' pool house to bang his ex wife and hang out with their kids. We need his input in this thread
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antipasto
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Post by antipasto on Dec 6, 2023 20:33:03 GMT -5
My old coworker was living with his ex wife and her new husband for years and helped raise their kids You have such consistent bizarre coworker anecdotes. Is this all the same dude or is everyone a freak? Mostly different people haha. I’ve worked with a lot of freaks and sickos!!
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anointed
Pulsating Member
apartheid superfan
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Post by anointed on Dec 6, 2023 20:48:05 GMT -5
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rowdiedondown
Quivering Member
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Post by rowdiedondown on Dec 6, 2023 20:55:05 GMT -5
twu, suppose it comes with the territory.
im a stepparent, or the one dating the birth parent. it has been one of the hardest things i've done and im not even doing it well.
To live with the ex, or have the ex involved more than parallel parenting requires-- that will turn off A LOT of partners. id go further to say it would exclude partners with a good head and narrow down to those with bad boundaries at best.
before doing this silly limbo basement parent thing, id argue a clean break would be best. BadScene, either she agrees to counseling or you move out (or you are okay with not dating for 10+ years). it would be shortsighted to renovate the basement to figure out 4 years later you are moving out.
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BadScene
Throbbing Member
Posts: 3,907 Join Date: May 8, 2020 Likes: 6,897
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Post by BadScene on Dec 6, 2023 22:51:10 GMT -5
twu, suppose it comes with the territory. im a stepparent, or the one dating the birth parent. it has been one of the hardest things i've done and im not even doing it well. To live with the ex, or have the ex involved more than parallel parenting requires-- that will turn off A LOT of partners. id go further to say it would exclude partners with a good head and narrow down to those with bad boundaries at best. before doing this silly limbo basement parent thing, id argue a clean break would be best. BadScene, either she agrees to counseling or you move out (or you are okay with not dating for 10+ years). it would be shortsighted to renovate the basement to figure out 4 years later you are moving out. Thanks for the perspective, and that goes for everyone who's commented on this. In general, I would say the basement plan is absolutely not intended to be a permanent solution. The idea would be that I'm around while the kids are still young and need constant care -- school pick up/drop off, little league, and all the bullshit where it really benefits to have two partners working together daily. And we've already brainstormed renovation ideas, where it could potentially become a rental property. That would help my wife with mortgage payments when I'm gone. As it is, she can't cover the expenses on her own, and I couldn't afford an apartment while also paying off the house. So figure 5-6 years until the kids are older and they don't need me around as much, we could potentially find a tenant that eases our finances, and then I'm in my own place nearby. Sure, this is over simplified -- I'm not even totally sure it makes sense financially. No numbers have been crunched. At this point, I'm not really looking for a new partner. New romantic interests, sure, but I don't really feel like taking anything serious for quite a while. A clean break would be awesome. But the bottom line is that I have nowhere to go. No family, no friends, and no other romantic interests. I honestly doubt this will actually come to fruition, but thinking about it does ease some of the current anxiety of the situation.
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Post by fishtalk i like (the) Sundays on Dec 6, 2023 23:59:49 GMT -5
My old coworker was living with his ex wife and her new husband for years and helped raise their kids Just biding his time until the new guy fucks up and he can slide back in there, I see you - and I respect it, pimp.
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killedbyboard
Pulsating Member
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Post by killedbyboard on Dec 7, 2023 1:40:39 GMT -5
BadScene, I'm sure you guys have talked about it ad nauseum, but it's concerning to me that therapy would be "adding something to her plate." Without getting into specifics, is she going through something personally or professionally that causes her daily stress? Are there ways in which you try to alleviate that? In what ways is the relationship not meeting your needs? Are you meeting hers? Speaking solely from my own experience, being with my wife for the last 16 years, relationships go through phases as I'm sure you've noticed. When you're feeling the relationship change, it can be really scary and weird like someone did something wrong or that it shouldn't be changing. When you throw kids into the mix, things change way faster. Where your relationship was once defined by your romantic and/or sexual attraction feelings, your relationship becomes like a partnership. Hopefully, where there was romantic/sexual love, you can feel a supportive kind of love that comes to the fore when romantic love takes a backseat. Adjusting your needs to meet some of hers and vice versa is sort of the ebb and flow of any longterm relationship.
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JDS
Pulsating Member
a kid got his ear punched off
I’m something all you parents hate to see but don’t worry, it’s just me, Jeremy!
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Post by JDS on Dec 7, 2023 12:37:08 GMT -5
I just hope both teams have fun.
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MMST3K
Pulsating Member
re-education camp success story
Antbaby Machete Squad Leader
Posts: 32,951 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018 Likes: 34,825
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Post by MMST3K on Dec 7, 2023 13:16:00 GMT -5
Yogi Michael Myers clearly has a type.
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zwansuperfan69
Turgid Member
Posts: 879 Join Date: Feb 25, 2019 Likes: 2,929
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Post by zwansuperfan69 on Dec 7, 2023 14:38:15 GMT -5
I don't think I've ever seen a photo beg harder to be an HBO limited series.
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killedbyboard
Pulsating Member
Posts: 8,544 Join Date: Jun 30, 2018
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Post by killedbyboard on Dec 7, 2023 17:01:25 GMT -5
Wait... hol' on... let me see if i understand, because this was confusing. - She is a "live-in nanny to her own kids" -- meaning that she's a stay at home mom that doesn't live in that home anymore. But she does have a freelance job as a photo-editor in the evening.
- To do all of that, I'm assuming they pay her? That has to be fucking weird.
- Also, he kept custody while she lives with her new s/o (also a creative of some sort?) "15 steps from my front door" -- judging by the home/furniture/locale, that's the pool house? Servant's quarters?
- "Prepping my empty house for future tenants" Whaa? Why not live in that house? Was it their house? How did they manage this new living situation, because it looks clutch.
- "Head to my favorite laundromat and socialize with the 'locals'" -- is she slumming it?
I'm getting some House of 1000 Corpse's vibes from these people. New Father John Misty album cover dropped
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BadScene
Throbbing Member
Posts: 3,907 Join Date: May 8, 2020 Likes: 6,897
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Post by BadScene on Dec 7, 2023 17:33:58 GMT -5
BadScene , I'm sure you guys have talked about it ad nauseum, but it's concerning to me that therapy would be "adding something to her plate." Without getting into specifics, is she going through something personally or professionally that causes her daily stress? Are there ways in which you try to alleviate that? In what ways is the relationship not meeting your needs? Are you meeting hers? Speaking solely from my own experience, being with my wife for the last 16 years, relationships go through phases as I'm sure you've noticed. When you're feeling the relationship change, it can be really scary and weird like someone did something wrong or that it shouldn't be changing. When you throw kids into the mix, things change way faster. Where your relationship was once defined by your romantic and/or sexual attraction feelings, your relationship becomes like a partnership. Hopefully, where there was romantic/sexual love, you can feel supportive, kind of love that comes to the fore when romantic love takes a backseat. Adjusting your needs to meet some of hers and vice versa is sort of the ebb and flow of any longterm relationship. Yeah, you definitely hit the nail on the head. I don't want to divulge too much of her own stuff, but I think it's fair to say that her job is slowly killing her. She could do much better somewhere else, for more pay and less stress, but she feels stuck there. She also feels the need to give 110% of herself to everyone around her, while doing very little to replenish herself, and then becomes resentful when others don't reciprocate in a way that she feels is equal. She's self aware about a lot of this, but isn't willing to take the steps to resolve her own issues. We definitely are not meeting each others needs. As we've been detaching, I'm realizing that we may have wanted different things all along. Totally agreed on the phases of the relationship. I understand that intimacy waxes and wanes, but even emotional support has almost withered away. We're there for each other when it matters, but she doesn't even want to spend time together one-on-one, even if it's watching a dumb tv show. I honestly feel like she's given up on having a relationship and every time I feel like there might be hope, it falls through. Regardless of how things end up, we're still going to need counseling even if it's to manage co-parenting, so I'm going to keep beating that drum.
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burp
Throbbing Member
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Post by burp on Dec 7, 2023 17:53:08 GMT -5
wow the girl in the black. I've never seen a girl that somehow captures the facial expression of every girl I've ever dated all rolled into one. That's the look I go for right there.
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floorpunchchalie
Pulsating Member
board royalty
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Post by floorpunchchalie on Dec 7, 2023 17:53:54 GMT -5
she's got some huge bazonkas on her Came to post! Big ass titties 😍
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floorpunchchalie
Pulsating Member
board royalty
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Post by floorpunchchalie on Dec 7, 2023 17:55:10 GMT -5
They all look way too serious imo
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hAloween h2o fan
Pulsating Member
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Post by hAloween h2o fan on Dec 7, 2023 17:56:36 GMT -5
Dude looks like Glen Benton only less satan and more yoga retreats and yet he's still the evil twin
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Cholo Molester
Pulsating Member
our very own Gideon Yago 🌚
off the duster
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Post by Cholo Molester on Dec 7, 2023 17:59:20 GMT -5
she's got some huge bazonkas on her Came to post! Big ass titties 😍 That’s a gross way to talk about women. Do better, Chalie.
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floorpunchchalie
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board royalty
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Post by floorpunchchalie on Dec 7, 2023 18:01:26 GMT -5
Came to post! Big ass titties 😍 That’s a gross way to talk about women. Do better, Chalie. I love titties though! Its been a little bit since I could suck on some and leave bruises Anyways, happy holidays!!!
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tandoori jones
Pulsating Member
lake dues
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Post by tandoori jones on Dec 7, 2023 18:02:22 GMT -5
leave bruises?!
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floorpunchchalie
Pulsating Member
board royalty
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Post by floorpunchchalie on Dec 7, 2023 18:04:28 GMT -5
The last woman called them love bites 🤷♂️
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0 Join Date: Jan 1, 1970
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Post by Deleted on Dec 7, 2023 18:08:59 GMT -5
That’s a gross way to talk about women. Do better, Chalie. I love titties though! It’s been a little bit since I could suck on some and leave bruises Anyways, happy holidays!!! Osama Vinladen Jiménez López
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Sorley Boy
Pulsating Member
tom bombadil gang
Citizens Bank Park Saturday and Sunday Talking Smack
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Post by Sorley Boy on Dec 7, 2023 18:15:48 GMT -5
Eaten pussy twice but left bruises on a woman's breasts many times.
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Perm’d by God
Pulsating Member
haunted by chalie, ray, Jerome garcia
Posts: 20,481 Join Date: Jul 13, 2020
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Post by Perm’d by God on Dec 7, 2023 18:17:28 GMT -5
Welcome to my bedroom, or as I like to call it…
The Moshpit 😏😏😏
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burp
Throbbing Member
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Post by burp on Dec 7, 2023 18:20:38 GMT -5
y'know I bet I'd love sucking on some balls, if I wen't that way of course. If I did, I'd fuckin gargle them things. Get those balls in my face/mouth (hypothetically speaking of course) because I DO NOT like balls, but If I did, oooh boy, fuck my shit up with those balls.
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burp
Throbbing Member
Posts: 4,332 Join Date: May 3, 2022
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Post by burp on Dec 7, 2023 18:23:25 GMT -5
me (if I loved balls (I do not))
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Osama Vinladen Jiménez López
Pulsating Member
homo thug holding a covid atom
DMX driving 114 mph
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Post by Osama Vinladen Jiménez López on Dec 7, 2023 18:29:26 GMT -5
Bruises?! Come on dawg
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Osama Vinladen Jiménez López
Pulsating Member
homo thug holding a covid atom
DMX driving 114 mph
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Post by Osama Vinladen Jiménez López on Dec 7, 2023 18:31:46 GMT -5
Chalie suckin on a titty bag like
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