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Post by twocripplesdancing on Mar 28, 2019 11:13:02 GMT -5
Reasons you should be single? If you havent been single for a great deal of time, that seems to me that you arent actually looking for someone, just anyone. If you suck at relationships, real talk, you shouldnt be in one till you can fix that. Its not really fair on the other person. I like not having to think about anyone.. i can do what i want, when i want, on my own terms. I dont have to spend money on anyone or worry about someone else being happy. I am happy.. i have stuff planned coming up and i dont have to work around anyone else. All my free time is my free time and i dont have to hang out with people i wouldnt particularly hang out with because they are someone elses friends. Yeah i get lonely sometimes but then i remember how shitty it felt when the last guy i was involved with was being a dick to me and made me feel terrible and im like "nooooope" and remember that im doing something cool tonight, or seeing a friend from another country tomorrow who is in town, or having my favourite burgers on the planet with some of my best friends next week and think "im good". I appreciate this. And yeah, you're right about that first bit. When I am in a relationship, I stress out on keeping the other person happy, balancing them with my social life, etc and it causes me to draw away. I think people put too much stock in relationships, and the perception of value they create. My therapist says that some people just can't do the single life and I have a friend exactly like that. His relationships often don't last long but he's always in one and I reckon it's because he puts pressure on himself to be in one. All the time I'm in a relationship, I fret about the person opposite. When I'm with friends, I don't. Why should the latter be preferable just because I have some company and can get laid? Thanks for speaking some sense. I have had a rough couple of weeks in the aftermath of a break up and some other bad news, and this put things into perspective.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2019 11:14:08 GMT -5
Honestly my favorite thing about being single is having no obligations to anyone. I can do whatever I want whenever pretty much and there's not much second thought or hesitation to it.
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animalnitrate
Turgid Member
Posts: 670 Join Date: Oct 4, 2018
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Post by animalnitrate on Mar 28, 2019 11:18:43 GMT -5
If you havent been single for a great deal of time, that seems to me that you arent actually looking for someone, just anyone. This just totally resonated with me. Before my 7 year relationship that just ended, I was only single for like... 5 months, and prior to that a year and a half relationship, and prior to that, a year long relationship. None of these have been happy situations past the initial rush of "someone new that I am attracted to for whatever reason likes me, and this feels good". A need for validation, and not wanting to feel lonely when you're used to having someone around all the time are not good reasons to commit yourself and your time to someone, but it's easy to mistake those feelings for honest intimacy, and that's a mistake I'm trying not to make again. I was actually feeling very nuts about this this morning. Like, I have been single for less than a week, and I felt like I was having an honest to god panic attack over "what if I never find someone who will make me happy", when I should be putting my energy into "how can I make myself happy". Thanks for the perspective, you've literally turned my day around with that post.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0 Join Date: Jan 1, 1970
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2019 11:21:20 GMT -5
If you havent been single for a great deal of time, that seems to me that you arent actually looking for someone, just anyone. This just totally resonated with me. Before my 7 year relationship that just ended, I was only single for like... 5 months, and prior to that a year and a half relationship, and prior to that, a year long relationship. None of these have been happy situations past the initial rush of "someone new that I am attracted to for whatever reason likes me, and this feels good". A need for validation, and not wanting to feel lonely when you're used to having someone around all the time are not good reasons to commit yourself and your time to someone, but it's easy to mistake those feelings for honest intimacy, and that's a mistake I'm trying not to make again. I was actually feeling very nuts about this this morning. Like, I have been single for less than a week, and I felt like I was having an honest to god panic attack over "what if I never find someone who will make me happy", when I should be putting my energy into "how can I make myself happy". Thanks for the perspective, you've literally turned my day around with that post. I don't think this could have been said any better than this. Thank YOU.
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Post by twocripplesdancing on Mar 28, 2019 11:25:27 GMT -5
Two pro posts right there.
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M
Engorged Member
Posts: 2,918 Join Date: Mar 7, 2019 Likes: 3,700
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Post by M on Mar 28, 2019 11:26:07 GMT -5
Reasons you should be single? If you havent been single for a great deal of time, that seems to me that you arent actually looking for someone, just anyone. If you suck at relationships, real talk, you shouldnt be in one till you can fix that. Its not really fair on the other person. I like not having to think about anyone.. i can do what i want, when i want, on my own terms. I dont have to spend money on anyone or worry about someone else being happy. I am happy.. i have stuff planned coming up and i dont have to work around anyone else. All my free time is my free time and i dont have to hang out with people i wouldnt particularly hang out with because they are someone elses friends. Yeah i get lonely sometimes but then i remember how shitty it felt when the last guy i was involved with was being a dick to me and made me feel terrible and im like "nooooope" and remember that im doing something cool tonight, or seeing a friend from another country tomorrow who is in town, or having my favourite burgers on the planet with some of my best friends next week and think "im good". I appreciate this. And yeah, you're right about that first bit. When I am in a relationship, I stress out on keeping the other person happy, balancing them with my social life, etc and it causes me to draw away. I think people put too much stock in relationships, and the perception of value they create. My therapist says that some people just can't do the single life and I have a friend exactly like that. His relationships often don't last long but he's always in one and I reckon it's because he puts pressure on himself to be in one. All the time I'm in a relationship, I fret about the person opposite. When I'm with friends, I don't. Why should the latter be preferable just because I have some company and can get laid? Thanks for speaking some sense. I have had a rough couple of weeks in the aftermath of a break up and some other bad news, and this put things into perspective. No worries! Glad I could be of help! I hope the other stuff is ok and works out. I find people are too much into telling people “there is many more fish in the sea” bollocks and don’t just go “being single isn’t that bad!” which I wish people had told me a while back when I was stuck in something miserable.
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M
Engorged Member
Posts: 2,918 Join Date: Mar 7, 2019 Likes: 3,700
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Post by M on Mar 28, 2019 11:30:42 GMT -5
One more thing. I always joke about this, but when my friends go “what if I am alone forever”, I ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and go “it’s cool. You can live in my real life golden girls house and we will have a blast!” Because I don’t dream about getting married and finding anyone anymore. I dream about being old in a house full of my mates laughing with support.. and the reality is that I am going to make this happen. ❤️
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Brah-lie
Throbbing Member
fuckin poser
triggers cucks and makes hooligans cheer. 👌🏼
Posts: 3,755 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
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Post by Brah-lie on Mar 28, 2019 13:16:56 GMT -5
I never held ill will towards ex’s and flings that didn’t work out, even the ones that were shitty to me. Best revenge is to simply forget they exist and keep it moving- in most cases karma will catch up to them on a long enough time line. Flings that didnt work out have never been a thing with me. Like, i dont hold ill will towards them at all. I am friends with a few people i have had flings with. When things have been actually pretty serious and they turned out to be dicks? Yeah, they can go fuck themselves. I have enough friends. I dont need to have these people as permanent fixtures in my life. They get ex communicated and sent to the same place that my friends who have done terribly shitty things to me go .. i just pretend they dont exist haha That’s the way to do it- karma is very real and I may or may not smirk when I find out someone who was shitty to me in the past had something shitty happen to them. But generally I just concentrate on myself and doing what makes me happy- hating someone because they’re a douche is a waste of energy that could go into something positive.
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stephanie
Pulsating Member
goth icon
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Post by stephanie on Mar 28, 2019 14:13:59 GMT -5
Been single for just over two years now, holla.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0 Join Date: Jan 1, 1970
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2019 19:58:32 GMT -5
I wonder how many dudes hate me hmmm lol
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ITID
Pulsating Member
least likely to win at literally anything
Posts: 23,017 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
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BiL Premium Poster: 👨💻
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Post by ITID on Mar 28, 2019 20:16:40 GMT -5
I wonder how many dudes hate me hmmm lol Real talk, what's an acceptable percentage? Or is it like a static number(3 strikes) regardless of number of partners?
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Brah-lie
Throbbing Member
fuckin poser
triggers cucks and makes hooligans cheer. 👌🏼
Posts: 3,755 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
Likes: 2,124
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Post by Brah-lie on Mar 28, 2019 20:24:12 GMT -5
There’s definitely a few ex’s/ old flings who can’t stand me, haha. Just saw one of them around Xmas, not only did she give me the eyeroll but I also got the headshake.
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chaospouch
Pulsating Member
30 minutes delicate
Posts: 16,222 Join Date: Jul 7, 2018
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Post by chaospouch on Mar 28, 2019 20:25:45 GMT -5
I’m still friends with all my ex’s except one, she moved to Eastern Europe after we split and refuses to talk to me at all
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tandoori jones
Pulsating Member
lake dues
Posts: 12,145 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
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Post by tandoori jones on Mar 28, 2019 20:58:37 GMT -5
There’s definitely a few ex’s/ old flings who can’t stand me, haha. Just saw one of them around Xmas, not only did she give me the eyeroll but I also got the headshake. she was probably thinking about the Supreme brick
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Brah-lie
Throbbing Member
fuckin poser
triggers cucks and makes hooligans cheer. 👌🏼
Posts: 3,755 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
Likes: 2,124
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Post by Brah-lie on Mar 28, 2019 21:06:32 GMT -5
There’s definitely a few ex’s/ old flings who can’t stand me, haha. Just saw one of them around Xmas, not only did she give me the eyeroll but I also got the headshake. she was probably thinking about the Supreme brick I think given the long list of things that wen't wrong, the brick was probably the least of her concerns. Apparently calling someone out on having “the communication skills of a tube sock” makes you a bad guy. 🤷🏻♂️
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2019 21:45:45 GMT -5
I wonder how many dudes hate me hmmm lol Real talk, what's an acceptable percentage? Or is it like a static number(3 strikes) regardless of number of partners? Ive got no idea but I can only assume that at a minimum at least 1 of them hates me lol How many times have you guys been in love? Twice for me.
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squid
Engorged Member
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Post by squid on Mar 28, 2019 21:54:04 GMT -5
I’ve never been in love who wants to be my first??
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stephanie
Pulsating Member
goth icon
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Post by stephanie on Mar 28, 2019 22:19:00 GMT -5
I thought I was in love once but it turned out to just be gas.
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killthekool
Engorged Member
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Post by killthekool on Mar 28, 2019 22:46:02 GMT -5
"Shit through the FART And you're to blame You give love a bad stain!"
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stephanie
Pulsating Member
goth icon
Posts: 21,252 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018 Likes: 32,487
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Post by stephanie on Mar 28, 2019 22:54:38 GMT -5
"Shit through the FART And you're to blame You give love a bad stain!"
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ITID
Pulsating Member
least likely to win at literally anything
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Post by ITID on Mar 28, 2019 23:46:52 GMT -5
I fall in love ery day.
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snoopywoodstock
Quivering Member
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Post by snoopywoodstock on Mar 29, 2019 0:45:43 GMT -5
Girl I was talking to bails, starts texting me, wants to hang out, but tells me she can't. My love life in a nutshell.. I've been kinda fucked up anyways and I'm not mentally ready to be in anything. It'd be kinda cool to hangout with someone tho
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M
Engorged Member
Posts: 2,918 Join Date: Mar 7, 2019 Likes: 3,700
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Post by M on Mar 29, 2019 3:00:40 GMT -5
I dont think any of my exs hate me. I never did anything bad to any of them and they all continually try and be friends with me. Im the one that dislikes them haha
Luckily people i have dated havent been from London, or if they live here, they dont come to shows anymore (not because of me.. they were never into hc that much anyway).
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killthekool
Engorged Member
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Post by killthekool on Mar 29, 2019 9:34:25 GMT -5
Ive been in love a few times. It took a really long time to get over the last big one and i still havent gone full into a relationship yet and that ended a year and 8 months ago. I tried dating a girl about a year after the big breakup and i totally fucked with her hella hard. I feel bad but since then i have made amends to her but in my head i wasnt invested and acted like a man child and basically used her. She hated me for a bit. maybe 1 or 2 more have hated me. The rest we wen't our seperate ways and none have ever wanted to be friends. My big ex and I communicate every few weeks now and its ok but if the opportunity was presented and she said lets hop in the sack I totally would against my better judgement and what anyone would tell me and based on past experience with that heartbreak. I just would love to be that close to that women again one more time. I dont think i could date her again tho because of the time to think about all the bad times and what i want has changed and daddys got a new set of glasses on.
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M
Engorged Member
Posts: 2,918 Join Date: Mar 7, 2019 Likes: 3,700
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Post by M on Mar 29, 2019 9:38:13 GMT -5
Yeah thats a pandoras box you never want to open because it will never be simple.
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Percussionist Foster Grant
Pulsating Member
32" inseam??
"My name is Geoff Tate." - Geoff Tate
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Post by Percussionist Foster Grant on Mar 29, 2019 10:20:51 GMT -5
I've been in love a couple of times, although I've always questioned whether or not it was just some sort of strong infatuation. I got out of a pretty overbearing 4 year relationship in late 2009 and started dating another girl like, 3 months later who was absolutely perfect. We made all of these plans, which eventually blew up in my face. We were probably rushing things (we were together for 6 months before we began discussing her moving in... she was transferring for school to the city I was already attending college in, so it made sense to simplify things for her) and she broke up with me on the day of my last spring final exam. I'd already sublet my house for the summer, got my old job back where she was living and sighned up for my summer semester courses online so I could move back up and be with her, help her get ready to move, etc.
It was a significant setback on a lot of fronts. I wound up quitting that job after a couple of weeks and having to sleep on a day bed in my parents office for 3.5 months before I could move back for fall semester and into my own house. I didn't seriously date anybody again for 3 years and didn't get into another serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship for 6 years. Fun stuff.
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killthekool
Engorged Member
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Post by killthekool on Mar 29, 2019 10:51:09 GMT -5
This is for all yall in the thread
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Radiation
Throbbing Member
I love fries
Posts: 3,305 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
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Post by Radiation on Mar 29, 2019 11:13:20 GMT -5
Pretty sure none of my exes hate me but who knows... Currently in love and suffering the consequences : ( nothing better and nothing worse.
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not Worship
Pulsating Member
this is the very last thing i have ever read, gootbye
Posts: 39,121 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
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Post by not Worship on Mar 29, 2019 12:00:16 GMT -5
Pretty sure none of my exes hate me but who knows... Currently in love and suffering the consequences : ( nothing better and nothing worse. feel this
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Radiation
Throbbing Member
I love fries
Posts: 3,305 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
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Post by Radiation on Mar 29, 2019 12:08:16 GMT -5
Pretty sure none of my exes hate me but who knows... Currently in love and suffering the consequences : ( nothing better and nothing worse. feel this Hope you're doing okay homie. Feel free to spill or DM if you need to vent.
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