Love life (ITT: Chalie Danger Sex Play)

[Deleted]

Sept 25, 2018 15:21:13 GMT -5 Percussionist Foster Grant said:

A girl I dated like... five or six years ago reached out yesterday morning. She broke up with her boyfriend last month and wants to come visit on Friday. I'll probably take her to my friends restaurant for dinner and hang out with some folks I know before heading back to my house. She lives about 90 minutes north of here, so it's safe to assume she's spending the night.

Why even bother with dinner with her? Drinks, back to your place, done, byeeeeeee

[Percussionist Foster Grant]

Cuz I ain't about that life and never have been.

[Deleted]

She knows what she’s coming there for and it ain’t the Golden Corral 2 for one 1 special, big daddy

[Percussionist Foster Grant]

Nah.

[Deleted]

Took my friend as a date to a charity fundraiser dinner/auction thing in NYC last night and apparently she caught feelings for me a while back and confessed a ton of stuff to me about it. I don’t feel the same so I’m now trying to distance myself over the whole situation.

[Brah-lie]

Actually using the “distance” thing to my advantage- young lady I’m talking to is playing hot and cold games. Not into it at all, so I’m just gonna pull back entirely. See how she likes it.

[killthekool]

Thanks for the reminder that dating or playing the field can be super shitty at times. back and forth and the games involved is such a major struggle. I'll stick to bettering myself for awhile...




Although I wouldnt mind a FWB situation

[Brah-lie]

“The game” is the absolute worst- it’s like “wtf, we’re both clearly into each other and have a lot in common... throw a guy a bone”. On the other side of the coin I like the fact that she’s such a tough egg to crack. Fuck dating in 2018.

[ass eyes]

"The game" isn't really a thing. You're just dealing with an emotionally immature person.

[Brah-lie]

I would have to agree- she’s either really guarded or still emotionally immature, I legit only have the best intentions though.

[ass eyes]

Man that shit never works out. Even if you do eventually end up in a relationship, it usually involves a level of walking on eggshells. One hint of something they don't agree with or if they happen to be an opportunist, they're out the fuckin' door. I could be wrong, but I've dated a few of them to know that sting.

[Brah-lie]

It sucks, man. Mostly because her and I have so much in common and when she’s not doing this hot/ cold thing, she’s someone I get along with well. Balls in her court, she knows I’m interested, I’m not playing cat and mouse games though.

[ass eyes]

Just focus on you and people that are genuinely interested in you without the mindfuckery. You can bench her because the longer that game goes on the more you're just going to feel like shit.

[Brah-lie]

Yep- she’s on the bench until she steps up and makes some effort. Thinking about joining a gym- that would be a good distraction.

[Deleted]

Someone pulled that on me recently after we had a first date and seemed really into eachother’s vibes, planned a second date, and she tried to bail on me the day of. I wen't for broke and called her out. She came back with “wow I’ve never been held accountable for being this way” after she tried “I’m sorry it’s not you it’s me” *eye roll*

I don’t stand for that shit. Either you are into me or you aren’t. People like this should not be on a dating app. Either be there to meet people and be straightforward or don’t be there at all. Are you really that pathetic that you’re pulling this teenage nonsense well into your 30’s.

[Deleted]

Sept 25, 2018 20:51:41 GMT -5 ass eyes said:

"The game" isn't really a thing. You're just dealing with an emotionally immature person.

And/or someone who simply doesn't like you all that much.......

[rowdiedondown]

Going back to tinder, my bf got with a friggen (legal) juvenile while we were on break, and my desire for him is broke. Like others have posted, so many butt eating open liners on tinder! Ima whore freak, and that shit irks me

[tyburn]

out of convenience, I'm gonna stay at my ex's house while I'm in her city for a work thing. I know she has feelings for me, and I sorta do for her, but because of the reason we broke up I just gotta put the block on that before it goes anywhere at all. Someone I wen't on a couple dates with in the spring lives there so we might hang out instead.

[Percussionist Foster Grant]

Hung out with that girl I dated 5-6 years ago on Friday evening. We wen't and had dinner, got a drink nearby and then hung out on my porch talking, listening to music and drinking beer until like... 4 AM. She ended up heading home around 7:30 in the morning and it was a lot of fun.

She asked if I thought I saw a future for us. She has two kids and said, "you would have to move back here and be a father figure to my son" which... is a lot to ask after one date in 6 years, obviously.

I get why she's being so upfront about it, because she's done screwing around and wants to find somebody stable that's willing to build a life with her and her family, but I'm not really prepped for something like that. I mean, I'm not even over my breakup from like... six months ago.

[jimmyjump]

That's pretty gnarly, being upfront when you're older and have kids is a good thing but asking someone to be a father figure feels like a little much. Maybe it's different because you guys have a history.

I haven't introduced the girl I'm seeing to my daughter yet and I'm thinking I probably won't for a while. She doesn't mind I have a kid, is understanding of what comes along with that, and even thinks about fun stuff for us to do together but I'm not sure how compatible we will be long term just because of life circumstances. We have a great thing going but, as an example, she only lives in the area now because her parents are getting older. She would much rather be somewhere else/travelling. She's never been in a relationship longer than 1.5 years, and never really been in the same place for more than a few years at a time. Just because I have kid doesn't mean I'm looking for a "build a life together" type of situation yet, but I'm also not looking for something casual... I dunno, this is all very confusing.

[Percussionist Foster Grant]

I think she slowly started realizing I'm like... the only guy she's ever dated who has his shit together. She was basically a hopeless drunk when we first met in 2012, which was before I even drank, so I tolerated it for a couple months but eventually phased her out. She was sweet and gorgeous but it wasn't a good fit. It took her a couple years but she finally got her life together and once that happened, I think she realized, "oh wow... he was actually really good to me."

She jokes about us turning 40 in 7-10 years and getting married. I just kinda feel like she's desperate to have somebody around long-term, which begs the whole John Cusack "Say Anything..." question of, "do you need someone, or do you need me?"

The thought of moving back to where she lives genuinely turns my stomach. It's where I wen't to high school and where my parents live and there's literally nothing. No music scene, no opportunities. Nothing. But her kid is in school there, likes his friends and teachers, her family is there. 

[crawlingcosmichorror]

Things have been going really well with the chick I've been seeing. She's totally on the same page with me as far as lifestyle stuff goes. I'm glad we met each other after going through our wild phases because she's the perfect woman for me.

[Deleted]

Oct 1, 2018 13:06:32 GMT -5 Percussionist Foster Grant said:

I think she slowly started realizing I'm like... the only guy she's ever dated who has his shit together. She was basically a hopeless drunk when we first met in 2012, which was before I even drank, so I tolerated it for a couple months but eventually phased her out. She was sweet and gorgeous but it wasn't a good fit. It took her a couple years but she finally got her life together and once that happened, I think she realized, "oh wow... he was actually really good to me."

She jokes about us turning 40 in 7-10 years and getting married. I just kinda feel like she's desperate to have somebody around long-term, which begs the whole John Cusack "Say Anything..." question of, "do you need someone, or do you need me?"

The thought of moving back to where she lives genuinely turns my stomach. It's where I wen't to high school and where my parents live and there's literally nothing. No music scene, no opportunities. Nothing. But her kid is in school there, likes his friends and teachers, her family is there. 

You should bail out now. How old is the kid? Issues with the father?

[Percussionist Foster Grant]

Oct 1, 2018 14:38:01 GMT -5 @giantmechanicalbrain said:

Oct 1, 2018 13:06:32 GMT -5 Percussionist Foster Grant said:

I think she slowly started realizing I'm like... the only guy she's ever dated who has his shit together. She was basically a hopeless drunk when we first met in 2012, which was before I even drank, so I tolerated it for a couple months but eventually phased her out. She was sweet and gorgeous but it wasn't a good fit. It took her a couple years but she finally got her life together and once that happened, I think she realized, "oh wow... he was actually really good to me."

She jokes about us turning 40 in 7-10 years and getting married. I just kinda feel like she's desperate to have somebody around long-term, which begs the whole John Cusack "Say Anything..." question of, "do you need someone, or do you need me?"

The thought of moving back to where she lives genuinely turns my stomach. It's where I wen't to high school and where my parents live and there's literally nothing. No music scene, no opportunities. Nothing. But her kid is in school there, likes his friends and teachers, her family is there. 

You should bail out now. How old is the kid? Issues with the father?

The kid is like... 8 years old. She also has a daughter. The dad is a deadbeat who's spent his entire adolescent/adult life in custody, whether that's juvenile hall, jail, prison, etc. He abused the shit out of her when they were together and hasn't expressed any interest in being in his child's life.

[Deleted]

She's hoping you're desperate.

[Percussionist Foster Grant]

Thankfully I'm not. She's nice, good looking and we have fun together but I'm not head over heels for her. Plus her sorted past, ex-husband/baby daddy shit just strikes me as a dramapalooza waiting to happen.

I don't think there's anything short of a dying parent that'd force me to move back home.

[ed]

It’s been exactly one month since my girlfriend left me. The first two weeks were two of the toughest weeks I’ve ever had(especially the first). I was about to sign a lease for my own studio in Santa Monica but I decided to move back home to my parents house for a couple months, pay off my credit cards, save a couple month’s rent and move out by years end. I’ve been getting a surprising amount of attention from girls which has been a really nice confident boost. Keeping positive. Hanging out a ton with my best friends but also acquaintances I wouldn’t have previously gone out with. Making new friends in the process. A lot of innocent flirting. Most importantly: Dodgers in the playoffs.

I know it was a topic in here a few pages ago and a couple of y’all even reached out to me, which was really cool. Guess I just wanted to drop in and let the thread know that everything is going real good rn.

[Deleted]

Glad to hear you're doing alright, man. Keep it up.

[Percussionist Foster Grant]

I'm glad to hear you're doing better. Didn't the break-up come completely out of the blue, too?

It's a hackneyed thing to say in the wake of a break-up but it truly does get better, even if it's just incrementally. I'm still wrecked over my last break-up but, if I'm really honest with myself, I am able to recognize that it's gotten just slightly easier to come to terms with after 5.5 months.

[Deleted]

Yeah, time is the best healer. It'll come in waves; I still experience those waves with my most recent breakup but recently, I don't even stop to think about it anymore.