Tstigz
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Post by Tstigz on Aug 2, 2024 16:06:59 GMT -5
My almost 4 year old gets one Daniel Tiger a day and maybe play some Kahn Academy Kids every couple days. He wen't through a phase where he’d cry for more and I’m like nope I’m not going down this road. I think Daniel Tiger has helped with processing emotions but there’s so much vapid bullshit out there for kids that I’ve come across. Like computer animated YouTube videos of toy semi trucks in fields pushing around gigantic beach balls. Like who the fuck is this for? I didn’t have internet at home until I was a junior in high school and that was on like windows 98. I feel bad for kids these days because adults can’t even handle social media and the internet responsibly, let alone a 13 year old kid.
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meatballmaniac
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Post by meatballmaniac on Aug 2, 2024 18:37:03 GMT -5
I was raised without tv and I turned out completely normal and don’t hate my parents at all
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oogracie👻
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Post by oogracie👻 on Aug 2, 2024 18:53:33 GMT -5
I was raised without tv and I turned out completely normal and don’t hate my parents at all Same, but my only redline is to change “without” to “with a fuckton of” I think tablets are more detrimental than TV, I would be totally fucked if tablets existed when I was a kid.
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Tstigz
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Post by Tstigz on Aug 2, 2024 19:02:42 GMT -5
Big difference is when we were kids you’d turn on the tv and sometimes be like oh nothings on and you’d shut it off. There was no doom scrolling or the option to search things out. You can always find something you want to watch on YouTube.
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bruja
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Post by bruja on Aug 2, 2024 19:06:22 GMT -5
My best friend has a 15 month old who pretty much watches tv all day. Both her and her husband work remote for the same place but she’s pretty much left to do all the childcare during the day and they don’t really take him outside unless it’s to go to target.
I can’t really judge her but I’m hoping I don’t do that when my son is born and I’m back to working remotely.
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sarahohio
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Post by sarahohio on Aug 2, 2024 19:38:13 GMT -5
My almost 4 year old gets one Daniel Tiger a day and maybe play some Kahn Academy Kids every couple days. He wen't through a phase where he’d cry for more and I’m like nope I’m not going down this road. I think Daniel Tiger has helped with processing emotions but there’s so much vapid bullshit out there for kids that I’ve come across. Like computer animated YouTube videos of toy semi trucks in fields pushing around gigantic beach balls. Like who the fuck is this for? I didn’t have internet at home until I was a junior in high school and that was on like windows 98. I feel bad for kids these days because adults can’t even handle social media and the internet responsibly, let alone a 13 year old kid. Daniel Tiger is a good one. Used to watch it with my oldest niece when she was younger. My youngest nephew watches that weird computer animated youtube shows where it has a truck going down a ramp and just flipping around and crashing. Then my younger niece watches other kids playing with toys on youtube. so ehhh seemed to go downhill a bit.
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meatballmaniac
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Post by meatballmaniac on Aug 2, 2024 21:04:42 GMT -5
Big difference is when we were kids you’d turn on the tv and sometimes be like oh nothings on and you’d shut it off. There was no doom scrolling or the option to search things out. You can always find something you want to watch on YouTube. And tv wasn’t desighned in a lab to make you addicted to it.
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ehmvincent
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Post by ehmvincent on Aug 5, 2024 0:19:31 GMT -5
Started potty training this weekend, buddy shit laying on his stomach.
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sarahohio
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Post by sarahohio on Aug 5, 2024 7:42:47 GMT -5
I was in Cincinnati Saturday (about 1hr 45min from our place in Columbus) at my husband's grandparent's house. His cousin and her family were in town from DC, so we wen't to visit. After lunch when we were sitting around his mom proceeds to say, "So are we having your baby drippini at the beginning of November?" (i'm due November 18th). I was like, "uh, no my sister is throwing my baby drippini October 6th. The invitations will go out at the beginning of September." She then hits me with, "No, I mean the one I am going to have down here in Cincinnati." uhhh wtf? Mind you, this woman also lives in Columbus. I was like, "what other baby drippini?" She said she was throwing one down in Cincinnati because it is more convenient for her side of the family (even though half live in DC?) and I straight up told her, "If it is not convenient for me, the one who will be 8 months pregnant, I'm not coming." I told her due to my condition, I could deliver a month early as well. So then she decided she would just have hers before my actual baby drippini. I had to drop the discussion since she tried to corner me in front of the 87 year old grandma. Everyone is invited to my actual baby drippini, so once again...wtf? And how fucking dare you corner me like that without even ASKING me if I wanted it.
I'm talking to my therapist today about this today. I have been having issues with my mother in law overstepping a lot. 1. Not my fault you didn't have a girl. 2. My sister is going through the trouble to throw my baby drippini for me, so don't disrespect that. 3. I don't give a FUCK if it is easier for other people. The baby drippini is for me, THE ACTUAL PREGNANT person. Just don't come if it isn't convenient for you. It's not like I am going out to Philly so it's easier for my extended family. Now once again, she is adding stress. It's going to make Sam super uncomfortable because he is working on how to deal with his overbearing mom without just sweeping stuff under the rug and we are going to have to tell her nah, this shit isn't happening.
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coconut al
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Post by coconut al on Aug 5, 2024 8:57:13 GMT -5
Boomer grandparents are... not great. So much entitlement and expectations. I really was worried that our kid was just going to be seen as their entertainment. Boundaries do work though and if they want to see your kid they'll have no choice but to respect them. And if they're that selfish, maybe whenever they do visit they'll get bored & leave early during the baby stage.
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oogracie👻
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Post by oogracie👻 on Aug 5, 2024 9:05:42 GMT -5
I was in Cincinnati Saturday (about 1hr 45min from our place in Columbus) at my husband's grandparent's house. His cousin and her family were in town from DC, so we wen't to visit. After lunch when we were sitting around his mom proceeds to say, "So are we having your baby drippini at the beginning of November?" (i'm due November 18th). I was like, "uh, no my sister is throwing my baby drippini October 6th. The invitations will go out at the beginning of September." She then hits me with, "No, I mean the one I am going to have down here in Cincinnati." uhhh wtf? Mind you, this woman also lives in Columbus. I was like, "what other baby drippini?" She said she was throwing one down in Cincinnati because it is more convenient for her side of the family (even though half live in DC?) and I straight up told her, "If it is not convenient for me, the one who will be 8 months pregnant, I'm not coming." I told her due to my condition, I could deliver a month early as well. So then she decided she would just have hers before my actual baby drippini. I had to drop the discussion since she tried to corner me in front of the 87 year old grandma. Everyone is invited to my actual baby drippini, so once again...wtf? And how fucking dare you corner me like that without even ASKING me if I wanted it. I'm talking to my therapist today about this today. I have been having issues with my mother in law overstepping a lot. 1. Not my fault you didn't have a girl. 2. My sister is going through the trouble to throw my baby drippini for me, so don't disrespect that. 3. I don't give a FUCK if it is easier for other people. The baby drippini is for me, THE ACTUAL PREGNANT person. Just don't come if it isn't convenient for you. It's not like I am going out to Philly so it's easier for my extended family. Now once again, she is adding stress. It's going to make Sam super uncomfortable because he is working on how to deal with his overbearing mom without just sweeping stuff under the rug and we are going to have to tell her nah, this shit isn't happening. If I were you i’d accept all the showe.rs and gifts you can, even if it’s annoying. As hard as it is, you’re going to have to remind yourself that the more people that love the baby, the better. You can accept gifts and smile about all the wrong apinions and just do whatever you want anyway. Maybe you can convince her that hers will be a virtual one haha.
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sarahohio
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Post by sarahohio on Aug 5, 2024 9:21:41 GMT -5
I was in Cincinnati Saturday (about 1hr 45min from our place in Columbus) at my husband's grandparent's house. His cousin and her family were in town from DC, so we wen't to visit. After lunch when we were sitting around his mom proceeds to say, "So are we having your baby drippini at the beginning of November?" (i'm due November 18th). I was like, "uh, no my sister is throwing my baby drippini October 6th. The invitations will go out at the beginning of September." She then hits me with, "No, I mean the one I am going to have down here in Cincinnati." uhhh wtf? Mind you, this woman also lives in Columbus. I was like, "what other baby drippini?" She said she was throwing one down in Cincinnati because it is more convenient for her side of the family (even though half live in DC?) and I straight up told her, "If it is not convenient for me, the one who will be 8 months pregnant, I'm not coming." I told her due to my condition, I could deliver a month early as well. So then she decided she would just have hers before my actual baby drippini. I had to drop the discussion since she tried to corner me in front of the 87 year old grandma. Everyone is invited to my actual baby drippini, so once again...wtf? And how fucking dare you corner me like that without even ASKING me if I wanted it. I'm talking to my therapist today about this today. I have been having issues with my mother in law overstepping a lot. 1. Not my fault you didn't have a girl. 2. My sister is going through the trouble to throw my baby drippini for me, so don't disrespect that. 3. I don't give a FUCK if it is easier for other people. The baby drippini is for me, THE ACTUAL PREGNANT person. Just don't come if it isn't convenient for you. It's not like I am going out to Philly so it's easier for my extended family. Now once again, she is adding stress. It's going to make Sam super uncomfortable because he is working on how to deal with his overbearing mom without just sweeping stuff under the rug and we are going to have to tell her nah, this shit isn't happening. If I were you i’d accept all the showe.rs and gifts you can, even if it’s annoying. As hard as it is, you’re going to have to remind yourself that the more people that love the baby, the better. You can accept gifts and smile about all the wrong apinions and just do whatever you want anyway. Maybe you can convince her that hers will be a virtual one haha. I just don't care about gifts that much. There is an option to just send gifts right to my house from the amazon list if they truly care that much. My peace of mind is more important. This party wouldn't be about the baby. It's about her showing off. She made it clear she was fine if only her son showed up and I didn't. Plus, I think it's very important to set a boundary now before the child is here so she understands this is our child, not hers.
She steam rolls over everyone in her life. She won't accept no as an answer, but she will have no choice with me.
As soon as his cousin with her two year old son stepped outside when we were down there she immediately started talking shit on her parenting. She didn't bring enough toys, I can't believe they let him run around (he wasn't even loud and the father was running around with him) and "when my boys were little they always sat down next to me when I demanded it" and blah blah blah. She shits on everyone and every child that are not her boys. Which is kind of crazy since she teaches ESL to elementary school kids (who she also is always talking down about) I'm not having that negatively in my life and I am not going to let her have my child sit next to her like some dog on a leash her entire life.
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Mr. Dingle Foot
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Post by Mr. Dingle Foot on Aug 5, 2024 9:23:27 GMT -5
I don't know if this will work for you but my wife and I put a lot of effort into making sure we were on the same page about some of the boundaries that we wanted to implement at the beginning. And once these were set, we both had the responsibility to share and inform our parents about them, so that the other person wouldn't be responsible for dealing with someone unrelated to them. This helped us a lot - and I found it helped me a lot to tell my family early. For example, we made the decision that we did not want any visitors the first 3-4 weeks after birth because we wanted to make sure that we were as comfortable as possible and felt like it would add more stress. When I communicated this to my sister (the only person who lives less than a 3-hour flight near us), she was not happy and it put a bit of a strain on our relationship. However, as the birth got nearer, we talked more and I began to get through to her. She kept saying "I have never heard this before"; and I kept saying - good, well now you are hearing it the first time. I tried to make sure she knew it was not about her but rather about us. Eventually, she got it and we even asked them to come sooner because we wanted them around. For us, we wanted to make sure we had our boundaries set so that if we needed space - we didn't have to "disappoint" people (this was hard for me because I felt like I owed my immediate family attention almost more than my son).
One of the most helpful things I learned in our birth-prep class - this is OUR family and it should now be our priority. That does not mean our extended family wasn't important but rather - once you have your child, you have a new roommate and a completely new relationship with your partner and baby to build and develop. It is OK and necessary to have time to yourselves and to say yes/no as you need.
This may be stepping over the line but I think your husband needs to talk to his mom and deal with that - I, personally, don't think that should fall on you. From my experience, it seems like that could turn into blaming you rather than her accepting the situation and adapting.
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coconut al
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Post by coconut al on Aug 5, 2024 9:25:36 GMT -5
Yeah you're never going to satisfy somebody like that and it's not worth attempting to do so. Solid chance that everyone around her knows how much she sucks and will take anything she says with a grain of salt. If she wants to see her grandchildren she'll adapt. I know my parents don't understand why everyone in their neighborhood sees their grandchildren way more than they do, but that's not my problem.
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sarahohio
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Post by sarahohio on Aug 5, 2024 10:17:27 GMT -5
I don't know if this will work for you but my wife and I put a lot of effort into making sure we were on the same page about some of the boundaries that we wanted to implement at the beginning. And once these were set, we both had the responsibility to share and inform our parents about them, so that the other person wouldn't be responsible for dealing with someone unrelated to them. This helped us a lot - and I found it helped me a lot to tell my family early. For example, we made the decision that we did not want any visitors the first 3-4 weeks after birth because we wanted to make sure that we were as comfortable as possible and felt like it would add more stress. When I communicated this to my sister (the only person who lives less than a 3-hour flight near us), she was not happy and it put a bit of a strain on our relationship. However, as the birth got nearer, we talked more and I began to get through to her. She kept saying "I have never heard this before"; and I kept saying - good, well now you are hearing it the first time. I tried to make sure she knew it was not about her but rather about us. Eventually, she got it and we even asked them to come sooner because we wanted them around. For us, we wanted to make sure we had our boundaries set so that if we needed space - we didn't have to "disappoint" people (this was hard for me because I felt like I owed my immediate family attention almost more than my son). One of the most helpful things I learned in our birth-prep class - this is OUR family and it should now be our priority. That does not mean our extended family wasn't important but rather - once you have your child, you have a new roommate and a completely new relationship with your partner and baby to build and develop. It is OK and necessary to have time to yourselves and to say yes/no as you need. This may be stepping over the line but I think your husband needs to talk to his mom and deal with that - I, personally, don't think that should fall on you. From my experience, it seems like that could turn into blaming you rather than her accepting the situation and adapting. Solid advice. I do hope he will be able to rise to the occasion. His family usually gives in or sweeps stuff under the rug with her, so he is currently working on that stuff with his therapist. I think he will do it, but I know it is going to cause a lot of stress for him which also bums me out. But before we got married we made sure to have a talk about how this means our new family comes before our other family. Like you said, we want to include them and love our families, but we have to come first now.
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coconut al
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Post by coconut al on Aug 5, 2024 10:26:44 GMT -5
I should probably clarify that boundaries might be tough at first but they DO pay off.
My parents just stopped by and I was thinking about how now that it's the norm for a few years, we really don't butt heads at all. They can be pushy sometimes but we just shut it down and then a couple weeks later they visit and it's like nothing happened. And every once in a while if we're feeling up for it we throw them a bone then they're happy.
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Tstigz
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Post by Tstigz on Aug 5, 2024 10:34:34 GMT -5
It’s hard for some parents to recognize that their children have created their own family unit. You gotta explain that to them and set boundaries asap. My mom called me the first year my son was born and was like “Hey we’re celebrating Mother’s Day on Mother’s Day at our place (an hour away from me) at X time.” And I had to be like mom, Mother’s Day is for my wife and our family now, not for you. We’re going to spend Mother’s Day together just us. Like it hadn’t hit her yet that I was no longer part of her family unit and I had my own now. She was reasonable about it, but I understand it will not be that easy for everyone.
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theonefreeman
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Post by theonefreeman on Aug 5, 2024 11:21:32 GMT -5
I honestly need to get to that point. Every holiday means I'm spending about two hours in a car and I did absolutely nothing that I actually wanted to do on Father's Day. I've got to strive towards a balance at least because it's all give and no take as it currently stands.
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inheritedhell
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Post by inheritedhell on Aug 5, 2024 11:29:07 GMT -5
My kid has regressed in his potty training. I know he knows when and how to use the potty but just like ignores it and shits his pants most of time.
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BadScene
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Post by BadScene on Aug 5, 2024 13:19:43 GMT -5
My kid has regressed in his potty training. I know he knows when and how to use the potty but just like ignores it and shits his pants most of time. Luckily, we never had to tackle this, but I did read that it can help to make the clean up process really boring and drawn out. Like, make it a bigger pain in the ass for the kid vs. just using the toilet. Like, don't be mad or annoyed at them, but you can point out, "Man, too bad we're here getting cleaned up, we could totally be playing outside." or "I hope the ice cream man doesn't run out of ice cream." Ok, that last one is kind of fucked up, but you get the point. I doubt it will turn everything around immediately, but kids aren't dumb. They'll stop doing something eventually if they see they're not getting what they want.
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slander
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Post by slander on Aug 5, 2024 13:45:14 GMT -5
Yeah I think theres something about the first baby coming along that makes the new grandparents lose it for awhile. Think its a weird existential thing we're they're thrown back to how they parented a baby plus realising they're not the primary parent anymore. Definitely had some issues with my mum at first. Like others have said make sure you both hold the line on boundaries. It sucks and I did struggle to do a good job of it, but if theres any sense you guys aren't united on things its just gonna allow resentment to creep in. The grandparents mellow out after awhile, or at least mine did once you show them you've got your shit together as a parent.
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oogracie👻
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Post by oogracie👻 on Aug 5, 2024 16:59:41 GMT -5
I honestly need to get to that point. Every holiday means I'm spending about two hours in a car and I did absolutely nothing that I actually wanted to do on Father's Day. I've got to strive towards a balance at least because it's all give and no take as it currently stands. Yea i have yet to have a Mother’s Day that wasnt spent celebrating my kid’s grandma and aunt instead of me lol
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inheritedhell
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Post by inheritedhell on Aug 5, 2024 17:30:07 GMT -5
I tried to plan a really nice Mother’s Day but my wife shot it all down and ended up doing nothing.
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sarahohio
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Post by sarahohio on Aug 5, 2024 18:02:26 GMT -5
Sam and I talked about it and we are on the same page which is awesome. He was like, you are the most important and we are a team and I don't want an extra drippini out of town either. So we are going in as a united front and he will be letting her know with my support. I know she is going to try and lay a guilt trip and push back, but we aren't giving in.
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meatballmaniac
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Post by meatballmaniac on Aug 5, 2024 23:01:25 GMT -5
Sam rocks and is a great tiddy grabber
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sarahohio
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Post by sarahohio on Aug 6, 2024 7:45:47 GMT -5
Sam rocks and is a great tiddy grabber Both are true!
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Dick Warlock
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Post by Dick Warlock on Aug 6, 2024 15:29:15 GMT -5
First ultrasound showed signs of a heartbeat, so we've made it further than any point up til now! Exciting and spooky
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foggy
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Post by foggy on Aug 7, 2024 8:48:57 GMT -5
My kid crushed golf camp last week. His swing is starting to look better than mine. Tennis camp is starting in a week, I'm so excited that he likes playing sports with other kids.
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I Gave You Power
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Post by I Gave You Power on Aug 7, 2024 10:11:28 GMT -5
Just transitioned my daughter (just turned 3) from her crib to her big girl bed and she’s done so well with it. Sleeping through the night, not wandering around, etc. So proud of her.
Also, the second day of it she called me into the room and made me sit down next to the bed, and she leaned over and hugged me and then grabbed my head with both hands and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I left the room and started crying, this kid is the sweetest fucking soul man. I don’t know what my wife and I did to get this lucky.
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oogracie👻
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Post by oogracie👻 on Aug 7, 2024 10:18:46 GMT -5
The best feeling!!!
You’re lucky she’s not wandering. My 4yr old (though she’s coming out of it a little now it feels), gets up every night and knocks on her bedroom door (from the inside) with some bogus need…
Overnight last night it was because she desperately needed a band aid for where her shoe rubbed her foot earlier in the day…
(Don’t wanna tell her to f off if she’s really in pain, but know she’s yankin chains so its hard to navigate!)
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