Cucker Tarlson
Engorged Member
FUGG
Posts: 2,389 Join Date: Feb 4, 2019
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Post by Cucker Tarlson on Sept 3, 2021 14:49:04 GMT -5
Lol earlier today we had this in person small group session during our mostly virtual professional day and these two boomers started complaining about shit but by the end this other teacher was sobbing and yelling at everyone until her friend dragged her out of the room. Sounds like it escalated quickly.
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Post by Panera Lemonade Specialist on Sept 3, 2021 14:51:38 GMT -5
Coworker wen't out on medical because he was beat up by his son in law.
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face of a pervert
Pulsating Member
30 minutes delicate
Posts: 15,451 Join Date: Jul 7, 2018
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Post by face of a pervert on Sept 3, 2021 14:52:38 GMT -5
Coworker wen't out on medical because he was beat up by his son in law. Things that are legit
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Post by Panera Lemonade Specialist on Sept 3, 2021 14:53:38 GMT -5
Coworker wen't out on medical because he was beat up by his son in law. Things that are legit Yeah I laughed because the guy is weapons grade hard-rocking.
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Post by Al gave some, some gave Al on Sept 3, 2021 15:05:38 GMT -5
Lol earlier today we had this in person small group session during our mostly virtual professional day and these two boomers started complaining about shit but by the end this other teacher was sobbing and yelling at everyone until her friend dragged her out of the room. Sounds like it escalated quickly. some of the dumbest people on the planet work here but when they shine it’s incredible
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Cucker Tarlson
Engorged Member
FUGG
Posts: 2,389 Join Date: Feb 4, 2019
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Post by Cucker Tarlson on Sept 3, 2021 15:27:04 GMT -5
My coworker accomplishes absolutely nothing besides complaining all day and working on his dungeons and dragons campaign.
My other coworker is practically going through early onset dementia.
I was running through a circuit testing procedure and one of em chose not to help while the other one had no idea of how a key component operates, but insisted it wasn't necessary for the procedure.
I like the idea of learning this shit on my own, but it'd be a lot easier without having his stupid ass chime in.
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oldorder1
Quivering Member
Chali meltdown 7" was better
Posts: 404 Join Date: May 5, 2019
Likes: 838
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Post by oldorder1 on Sept 3, 2021 17:50:41 GMT -5
Not a coworker, but a client that was especially funny today.
Me: "Hi I'm following up on these two outstanding 2020 year end compliance testing items." Her: "We sent those already. See the attached." Me: "Bitch, those emails are from 2020 and clearly pertain to the 2019 testing, you're a whole fucking year off, try again."
Her attachments were PDF versions of emails instead of just the actual emails. She probably printed them off and scanned them or something.
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SUN HIT FACE
Throbbing Member
Posts: 4,677 Join Date: Jun 28, 2018 Likes: 13,903
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Post by SUN HIT FACE on Sept 3, 2021 20:24:46 GMT -5
Not a coworker, but a client that was especially funny today. Me: "Hi I'm following up on these two outstanding 2020 year end compliance testing items." Her: "We sent those already. See the attached." Me: "Bitch, those emails are from 2020 and clearly pertain to the 2019 testing, you're a whole fucking year off, try again." Her attachments were PDF versions of emails instead of just the actual emails. She probably printed them off and scanned them or something. Got em
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anointed
Pulsating Member
apartheid superfan
Posts: 12,598 Join Date: Sep 16, 2019
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Post by anointed on Sept 4, 2021 2:07:25 GMT -5
glad this thread got the bump...
dude i know hits me up in march literally crying how his wife just got her kidney transplant but he had to use his savings to pay for it, and he's now broke. he starts begging me for a job (i am a manager for a large tech company which shall remain nameless) and that he would "literally take anything" that's available. i was like, "fuck it, i'll see what i can do" (i was having a good ass day so i was down to help out the guy) he lands an interview for a solid work from home position, he goes through the whole process, and ends up getting the gig - tight!
firstly, he's not exactly super thankful or anything - i'm not asking him to take me out back and stroke my dick, but at least tickle my balls, jeez - and he immediately starts doing all types of shady shit like clocking out early and taking extended lunches. i told him to chill out because he's got a good gig with solid starting pay, and that it's also my reputation on the line if he fucks this up.
long story short: he fucks it up. back in early july he got asked to go into the field to do some very light work (my company would be paying him for uber rides to go to five locations totaling like two hours of work), and he was basically backbiting the entire time to the director of operations for our program. to make matters worse, he didn't even complete the basic task he was assighned to do in the first place and, in turn, i had to shovel up his shit. a few weeks ago i look into the list of people in our group chat because i've noticed he's been awfully quiet lately, and he's not listed. i hit up the director of operations he was being a dickhead to and asked her where is he and she tells me they had to let him go. i start texting him asking what happened, but he wouldn't respond. i'm still trying to get an explanation from him but i think he's blocked me - fuck this guy.
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Cucker Tarlson
Engorged Member
FUGG
Posts: 2,389 Join Date: Feb 4, 2019
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Post by Cucker Tarlson on Sept 4, 2021 12:34:38 GMT -5
glad this thread got the bump... dude i know hits me up in march literally crying how his wife just got her kidney transplant but he had to use his savings to pay for it, and he's now broke. he starts begging me for a job (i am a manager for a large tech company which shall remain nameless) and that he would "literally take anything" that's available. i was like, "fuck it, i'll see what i can do" (i was having a good ass day so i was down to help out the guy) he lands an interview for a solid work from home position, he goes through the whole process, and ends up getting the gig - tight! firstly, he's not exactly super thankful or anything - i'm not asking him to take me out back and stroke my dick, but at least tickle my balls, jeez - and he immediately starts doing all types of shady shit like clocking out early and taking extended lunches. i told him to chill out because he's got a good gig with solid starting pay, and that it's also my reputation on the line if he fucks this up. long story short: he fucks it up. back in early july he got asked to go into the field to do some very light work (my company would be paying him for uber rides to go to five locations totaling like two hours of work), and he was basically backbiting the entire time to the director of operations for our program. to make matters worse, he didn't even complete the basic task he was assighned to do in the first place and, in turn, i had to shovel up his shit. a few weeks ago i look into the list of people in our group chat because i've noticed he's been awfully quiet lately, and he's not listed. i hit up the director of operations he was being a dickhead to and asked her where is he and she tells me they had to let him go. i start texting him asking what happened, but he wouldn't respond. i'm still trying to get an explanation from him but i think he's blocked me - fuck this guy. That's so shitty. It's particularly shitty because it sounds like a sweet gig. Damn near majes me want to apply for his position. Lol
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Post by Al gave some, some gave Al on Oct 28, 2021 10:54:47 GMT -5
So a memory popped up on FB where I'm tagged in a picture with this dude who was the ultimate dumbass coworker. I worked as an RA in the dorms for free housing in college and witnessed quite a bit of wild shit, but this dude worked with me one year and was a huge asshole about following every rule and would snitch on all of us since no one else really gave a shit. Other than that he was weird but when you work a lame ass job like that there's always one or two. Anyway over spring break he convinced this girl who wasn't all there in the head that she lost the master key to the entire dorm we worked at. She got in a bunch of trouble for that since it's a huge safety compromise and costs a ton of money to replace all the locks. Turns out, he stole it from her and put clocks with cameras in them in a bunch of girls' rooms while they were gone for the break. For clarification, no he did not put the cameras in clocks that were already in their rooms. His stupid ass put brand new alarm clocks in the rooms thinking they wouldn't notice. Then we found out he lied about his age and was actually like 23-24 instead of 19. He also wasn't from another state but THE NEXT TOWN OVER. He had a previous arrest record because he burnt a girl's house down that he was obsessed with. They even found threatening messages he'd sent to her after the fact. That's when we found out our college didn't do background checks on campus employees. He also has a sibling that refuses to acknowledge him. Here's the article if anyone wants to read it. www.chattanoogan.com/2012/5/17/226360/Man-With-Asperger-s-Syndrome-Who-Set.aspxEDIT: no one knew about the Asperger's detail so I bet his family got that diagnosis to try and keep him from going to prison
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shonuff
Stiff Member
Posts: 58 Join Date: Aug 12, 2020
Likes: 78
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Post by shonuff on Oct 28, 2021 11:39:05 GMT -5
Once in a Afghan village we had intel on a house that was a stash house for the Tban. A communications officer gave me the ok to kick in the door after sending in the black hornet( a mini drone that fits in the palm of your hand). Our demo guy blows the door off and I take lead. Before I know it were face to face with a Soviet DSHK. We literally had to call in air support on us. We all survived and the officer was kicked off our squad. Now he’s in delta and we have no idea how. I hate the military.
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Post by Al gave some, some gave Al on Dec 2, 2021 14:21:04 GMT -5
I work with this old dude from the country who started teaching last year. Since he started this man has been oversharing some of the most bizarre personal information. He turned this in for a faculty exercise but actually shared it so the whole staff could see (pretty sure it was intentional). For the record I'm pretty sure most of what he says is bullshit and he just wants attention. Anyway I'm posting it here:
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bravecaptain
Pulsating Member
Posts: 9,728 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
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Post by bravecaptain on Dec 2, 2021 14:47:20 GMT -5
Tomorrows my last day.
Been working on a project that’s not going to be finished and taking my sweet ass time. We normally take inventory for our computers and monitors (via a numbered system) that are set up and none of the monitors have the special tags that indicate what their number is.
Should I care? Probably not.
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Cholo Molester
Pulsating Member
our very own Gideon Yago 🌚
off the duster
Posts: 19,452 Join Date: Jul 5, 2018
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Post by Cholo Molester on Dec 2, 2021 14:51:20 GMT -5
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bravecaptain
Pulsating Member
Posts: 9,728 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
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Post by bravecaptain on Dec 2, 2021 16:42:32 GMT -5
Yeah, my contract ends tomorrow. Same line of IT stuff, different industry. Starting Monday. I ended up jotting down the serial numbers of like 60 monitors in place of the tags we normally use, solely because I want a good reference.
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crimsonotter
Throbbing Member
Posts: 3,319 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
Likes: 4,862
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Post by crimsonotter on Dec 2, 2021 16:44:20 GMT -5
Give me a job
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Post by Panera Lemonade Specialist on Dec 2, 2021 16:48:53 GMT -5
New dickhead at work has a Megadeth sticker on his truck lol.
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The Starchild
Turgid Member
Posts: 1,572 Join Date: Jan 8, 2021
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Post by The Starchild on Dec 4, 2021 15:41:53 GMT -5
One guy is constantly googling recipes for basic eyetalian dishes all day and talking about the spaghetti he made the night/other day/week before. I’ve spent about 2 years wondering if he does it intentionally to fuck with us. Spent about 3 months saying “that’s it I’m making lasagne this weekend!” On a near daily basis.
He’s always asking for more clients cause he isn’t making enough money but only works half days cause he just comes and leaves whenever.
Also a really respected saxophonist and jazz band leader in town. He’s such a hard-rocking enigma.
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accidentalcharm
Pulsating Member
Posts: 5,231 Join Date: Aug 20, 2018
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Post by accidentalcharm on Jan 5, 2022 22:31:20 GMT -5
I should point out that I've never done anything remotely like the double-dump with teabag. And my sister was on an investigatory committee in her old state office for two years to find out who was taking a daily dump on the office floor, and she reported that it was tiresome almost immediately. (Plus, it turned out the head of the committee did all the poops.) bump. my friend was telling me today that one of his kids shit on the floor while he was working from home which triggered the memory of this story. I was cry-laughing trying to retell it
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borntodie
Pulsating Member
Posts: 5,726 Join Date: Jun 28, 2018
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Post by borntodie on Feb 15, 2022 13:30:59 GMT -5
Coworker: I just get anxiety whenever my savings o-count dips below six figures, you know what I mean? Me: No.
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TheCauldronGlow
Pulsating Member
punisher (tryhard edition)
Posts: 8,729 Join Date: Jul 3, 2018
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Post by TheCauldronGlow on Feb 15, 2022 13:39:27 GMT -5
One guy is constantly googling recipes for basic eyetalian dishes all day and talking about the spaghetti he made the night/other day/week before. I’ve spent about 2 years wondering if he does it intentionally to fuck with us. Spent about 3 months saying “that’s it I’m making lasagne this weekend!” On a near daily basis. He’s always asking for more clients cause he isn’t making enough money but only works half days cause he just comes and leaves whenever. Also a really respected saxophonist and jazz band leader in town. He’s such a hard-rocking enigma. This guy legitimately sounds awesome.
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theonefreeman
Engorged Member
Posts: 2,796 Join Date: Jul 1, 2018
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Post by theonefreeman on Feb 15, 2022 21:18:53 GMT -5
Talking about making lasagna every day is going to be my thing at work from now on. Also going to get surgery to make my ears look like a feline's and paint my body orange.
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anointed
Pulsating Member
apartheid superfan
Posts: 12,598 Join Date: Sep 16, 2019
Likes: 41,926
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Post by anointed on Feb 15, 2022 21:20:46 GMT -5
lasagna rules, coming in and leaving whenever rules, saxophones rule, guy rules
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beldar
Turgid Member
Posts: 1,762 Join Date: Jun 30, 2018
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Post by beldar on Feb 15, 2022 21:37:37 GMT -5
Coworker wen't out on medical because he was beat up by his son in law.
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F.F Woodycooks
Pulsating Member
Posts: 6,027 Join Date: Jul 12, 2018
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Post by F.F Woodycooks on Feb 16, 2022 9:14:42 GMT -5
Coworker: I just get anxiety whenever my savings o-count dips below six figures, you know what I mean? Me: No. steal shit from them
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bravecaptain
Pulsating Member
Posts: 9,728 Join Date: Jun 27, 2018
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Post by bravecaptain on Feb 16, 2022 9:38:07 GMT -5
Briefly sold pot for a dispensary when I was in grad school.
This is the opposite of dumbass behavior but fuck it, I got in the habit of stealing money and dense nuggs of fat buds from my boss since we’d make deliveries using our own cars and weren’t reimbursed for gas, insurance, or our phones. Dude was breaking even for so long because of me. Fuck that prick.
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The Starchild
Turgid Member
Posts: 1,572 Join Date: Jan 8, 2021
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Post by The Starchild on Feb 16, 2022 11:08:45 GMT -5
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nastyy
Pulsating Member
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Post by nastyy on Feb 16, 2022 13:20:19 GMT -5
Coworker: I just get anxiety whenever my savings o-count dips below six figures, you know what I mean? Me: No. sounds like they need to learn how to bridge the gap between a savings and checking o-count
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landoftalk
Throbbing Member
Posts: 4,072 Join Date: Jan 8, 2021
Likes: 10,455
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Post by landoftalk on Feb 17, 2022 9:07:40 GMT -5
Coworker: I just get anxiety whenever my savings o-count dips below six figures, you know what I mean? Me: No. Me: I’m really stressed out this car I got just cost me a small fortune I literally have $0 right now (it was from my mom and is a 2011 Jeep Patriot that’s rusty and had no brakes and needed all new tires) My friend: it could be worse you could be like me paying off a brand new 56k car!!! Me: ……
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