Star Wars Thread (1,000 Years of Doomposting)

[DAYMAN]

Jan 1, 2020 15:34:54 GMT -5 𝖒𝖊𝖔𝖜𝖋𝖚𝖓𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 said:

Will they also ignore these movies years later for a new set of sequels like GT?

GT didn't have Toriyama behind it, and Disney already eradicated the EU, so... yes.

[𝖒𝖊𝖔𝖜𝖋𝖚𝖓𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓]

Oh shit 7-9 is already Star Wars Super

[MMST3K]

Jan 1, 2020 14:08:38 GMT -5 @jamesk said:

Jan 1, 2020 14:05:16 GMT -5 heathenist said:

Can we also talk about how shitty Finn and Poe’s arcs were? Like, is Finn in love with Rey? They set up this in the quicksand when he is about to tell her something but gets cutoff, and then he never actually tells her what he was going to say. Why even include that moment? I can’t tell if it’s bad writing or bad editing. But Finn was basically useless in this movie and his character lacked any depth. I thought after he saw her blow up the transport ship he would have a beat where he realizes they can never be together because of her power and would spend some of the movie coming to terms with that and realizing he will never be able to really protect her, but nope, nothing, he just meets a female version of himself who he has no chemistry with and I guess we are supposed to forget about the first two movies and first half of this one setting up the fact that he is in love with Rey.

Bro. This was the most sexually confusing movie I’ve ever seen and we’re talking a film franchise that started with a brother wanting to fuck his sister for two movies.

Finn is in love with Rey.
Rose is in love with Finn.
Poe is in love with Finn, but also maybe dating him?
Poe is also in love with weird Daft Punk Keri Russell.
Rey is in love with Kylo Ren.
Female Finn is in love with Finn.
Finn has the hots for Female Finn.
Lando might be Female Finn’s dad but also he may want to bang her?

yep.Finn and Poe should have been super gay with each other they come off that way anyways.

[antipasto]

I liked tros and I liked tlj too. Of course they both have their issues, but neither changes the fact that I‘ve loved this shit since I was born and always have my old favorites to watch. People are getting way too worked up over movies that are objectively made to be enjoyed by kids.
Also, who would fuck palpatine? No one, he’s an ugly mother fucker the whole series.
Which means that he force-impregnated someone, which led to an Anakin-like birth
Also, since he’s way older than Anakin, he probably force-banged Shmi too.
Anakin is Rey’s uncle, Ben Solo is Rey’s nephew (second cousin?). They had to kiss in order to bring the Star Wars incest full circle

[Deleted]

Jan 1, 2020 22:55:05 GMT -5 antipasto said:

I liked tros and I liked tlj too. Of course they both have their issues, but neither changes the fact that I‘ve loved this shit since I was born and always have my old favorites to watch. People are getting way too worked up over movies that are objectively made to be enjoyed by kids.
Also, who would fuck palpatine? No one, he’s an ugly mother fucker the whole series.
Which means that he force-impregnated someone, which led to an Anakin-like birth
Also, since he’s way older than Anakin, he probably force-banged Shmi too.
Anakin is Rey’s uncle, Ben Solo is Rey’s nephew (second cousin?). They had to kiss in order to bring the Star Wars incest full circle

mark. as. fuck.

[𝖒𝖊𝖔𝖜𝖋𝖚𝖓𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓]

Not as bad as watching an hour long YouTube video about a movie you hate tho

[No Doz]

does everyone who has a problem with the palpatine plot arc also have a problem with rian johnson unceremoniously smoking the would-be villain of the entire trilogy a third of the way through his movie?

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2020 0:49:45 GMT -5 No Doz said:

does everyone who has a problem with the palpatine plot arc also have a problem with rian johnson unceremoniously smoking the would-be villain of the entire trilogy a third of the way through his movie?

yes, Rian Johnson is still trash

[heathenist]

Jan 2, 2020 0:49:45 GMT -5 No Doz said:

does everyone who has a problem with the palpatine plot arc also have a problem with rian johnson unceremoniously smoking the would-be villain of the entire trilogy a third of the way through his movie?

Nope because it subverts our expectations and makes way for a more original story. Snoke was just Palpatine 2.0, that’s not really new or interesting. Rain Johnson was at least trying to do something new.

[roofies]

When I first saw Force Awakens and when Snoke appeared as a giant hologram, I was convinced that was his actual size. Then when they showed his actual size, I was more shocked than when he was killed off.

[killedbyboard]

Jan 2, 2020 0:49:45 GMT -5 No Doz said:

does everyone who has a problem with the palpatine plot arc also have a problem with rian johnson unceremoniously smoking the would-be villain of the entire trilogy a third of the way through his movie?

How are those similar or comparable at all? They shouldnt have introduced Palpatine. It was incredibly stupid. If you care about Snoke or wanted him to be "something" I don't fucking know what to tell you. He was a plot device for Kylo Ren.

[vomitponx]

reading that what finn really wanted to say to rey was that he was force sensitive lmao gtfo with these movies. just let them die

[flyingwhales]

I didn't have a problem with killing snoke because he was just the emperor 2.0 to go along with darth vader 2.0 and the death star 3.0. I am not a fan however of shoehorning in the emperor anyway after JJ got written into a corner. I was a big fan of killing snoke & rey's parents being nobody (seriously WHY did she have to be related to anyone important?), I just don't like all the resistance stuff in TLJ (aka one long, slow chase scene that has no bearing on the story). Chris Stuckmann had a good point when he said the problem with the palpatine reveal is that they focused too much on keeping rey's lineage a secret and the story suffered because they wanted to have that big reveal so bad. I understand the story wasn't even planned out so they couldn't have done this anyway, but they really should've dropped more hints throughout the first two movies that rey was a palpatine. They hint that she has a natural pull to the dark side briefly in TLJ, but that's about it. It wasn't built upon any further than that and I really think they thought they'd have another "oh shit, Vader is Luke's FATHER" moments. That said, again, I still enjoy the movies for what they are. I love the universe and the lore. Trrying to make Star Wars that is on par with the OT is like catching lightning in a bottle, it aint never gonna happen.

[flyingwhales]

Jan 2, 2020 11:17:20 GMT -5 vomitponx said:

reading that what finn really wanted to say to rey was that he was force sensitive lmao gtfo with these movies. just let them die

Yeah this pissed me off. Like I guess it makes sense but that's a very common movie trope to have the character make a confession of his love before they're about to die. And then when Poe presses him about it he gets all nervous and doesn't want to talk to him about it? That was 100% leading on that he loved Rey. I'm fine with the fact that he was gonna tell her hes force sensitive, its more annoying that they don't even tell you what he was gonna say at all in the movie. They just straight up left it on the cutting room floor.

[BloodFarts2]

Snoke wen't out like a such a bitch. Did we even see him not sitting in a chair once? He might as well have just been a fat ass hutt he did nothing

[flyingwhales]

Jan 2, 2020 11:48:13 GMT -5 BloodFarts2 said:

Snoke wen't out like a such a bitch. Did we even see him not sitting in a chair once? He might as well have just been a fat ass hutt he did nothing

We know hes a powerful force user yet he can't sense that Kylo Ren is about to kill him or that the lightsaber right next to him is being pointed at his innards? Christ you don't even have to use the force for that, he could've just used his peripheral vision.

[Percussionist Foster Grant]

Maybe he's like an owl and doesn't have peripheral vision.

[Deleted]

Rian Johnson is a good director.

[MMST3K]

Jan 2, 2020 11:17:20 GMT -5 vomitponx said:

reading that what finn really wanted to say to rey was that he was force sensitive lmao gtfo with these movies. just let them die

I honestly can't begin to describe how stupid that is.

[killedbyboard]

Jan 2, 2020 11:48:13 GMT -5 BloodFarts2 said:

Snoke wen't out like a such a bitch. Did we even see him not sitting in a chair once? He might as well have just been a fat ass hutt he did nothing

The emperor, you know, the one that shot a bolt of force lightning so massive it disabled a fleet of ships, you know, the one who destroyed the entire Jedi Order and ruled the entire galaxy for twen'ty some-odd years, WAS PICKED UP AND THROWN DOWN A CHUTE. If you take anything from Snoke, it should be that our big bad villains are arrogant, they believe their subordinates to be totally subservient, and it is their downfall. Kylo killing his master after being berated and put down by him for two movies is way more interesting than Snoke being fucking Darth Plageuis or some shit and being killed in the final movie during a climactic battle, like JJ made happen anyway with Palpatine.

[MMST3K]

Jan 2, 2020 12:53:09 GMT -5 killedbyboard said:

Jan 2, 2020 11:48:13 GMT -5 BloodFarts2 said:

Snoke wen't out like a such a bitch. Did we even see him not sitting in a chair once? He might as well have just been a fat ass hutt he did nothing

The emperor, you know, the one that shot a bolt of force lightning so massive it disabled a fleet of ships, you know, the one who destroyed the entire Jedi Order and ruled the entire galaxy for twen'ty some-odd years, WAS PICKED UP AND THROWN DOWN A CHUTE. If you take anything from Snoke, it should be that our big bad villains are arrogant, they believe their subordinates to be totally subservient, and it is their downfall. Kylo killing his master after being berated and put down by him for two movies is way more interesting than Snoke being fucking Darth Plageuis or some shit and being killed in the final movie during a climactic battle, like JJ made happen anyway with Palpatine.

Biggest problem with the emperor being back is it completely voids Vaders sacrifice.Not to mention just how stupid it is to bring him back.

[flyingwhales]

Jan 2, 2020 13:00:01 GMT -5 MMST3K said:

Jan 2, 2020 12:53:09 GMT -5 killedbyboard said:

The emperor, you know, the one that shot a bolt of force lightning so massive it disabled a fleet of ships, you know, the one who destroyed the entire Jedi Order and ruled the entire galaxy for twen'ty some-odd years, WAS PICKED UP AND THROWN DOWN A CHUTE. If you take anything from Snoke, it should be that our big bad villains are arrogant, they believe their subordinates to be totally subservient, and it is their downfall. Kylo killing his master after being berated and put down by him for two movies is way more interesting than Snoke being fucking Darth Plageuis or some shit and being killed in the final movie during a climactic battle, like JJ made happen anyway with Palpatine.

Biggest problem with the emperor being back is it completely voids Vaders sacrifice.Not to mention just how stupid it is to bring him back.

This was my gripe, but there’s an argument out there that technically he brought an end to the war and brought a couple decades of peace. In reality, just because one war ends it doesn’t mean the world is free of war. It’ll always come back.

[killedbyboard]

Jan 2, 2020 13:20:16 GMT -5 flyingwhales said:

Jan 2, 2020 13:00:01 GMT -5 MMST3K said:

Biggest problem with the emperor being back is it completely voids Vaders sacrifice.Not to mention just how stupid it is to bring him back.

This was my gripe, but there’s an argument out there that technically he brought an end to the war and brought a couple decades of peace. In reality, just because one war ends it doesn’t mean the world is free of war. It’ll always come back.

The prophecy was the chosen one was supposed to bring balance to the force, not end war or bring about peace. There are a number of interpretations you can have about what balance is, but Lucas has said that the Sith are an unbalancing of the force, and that their elimination brings balance i.e. He was supposed to destroy the Sith. If Palpatine is back or never died or was cloned or whatever the fuck, then Anakin didn't accomplish anything and did not fulfill any prophecies and the first six movies are essentially pointless.

[killedbyboard]

If you have to bring Palpatine back, there was a way they could have done it that would have made sense and preserved the OT and ST storylines without an ass load of exposition. If you must bring back Palpatine (and apparently JJ did not see fit to just make Kylo Ren our big bad for some stupid reason) then make Rey a clone. You know the scene in the mirror where she sees herself going on through infinity, she saw that her parents were nobody because they were technically nobody. Palpatine is a corrupted version of a Sith force ghost (previously established in EU materials) and parlays quite well into Palpatine's obsession with eternal life and the story of Darth Plageuis the wise. He needs a host to live forever, and Anakin was supposed to be that host. But Palpatine, a man who played the long con to eliminate the Jedi, didn't put all his eggs in Anakin's basket, he created a back up. He preserved himself in the living force and created Clones using Anakin's DNA in order to embody them in perpetuity, and Rey was one, hence her innate force abilities. Dark Rey is a clone that the emperor embodies through a ritual that kills Kylo Ren, and Rey and Dark Rey duel (Rey has to face HERSELF OMG). The rest could play out more or less the same.

[MMST3K]

Jan 2, 2020 13:41:47 GMT -5 killedbyboard said:

If you have to bring Palpatine back, there was a way they could have done it that would have made sense and preserved the OT and ST storylines without an ass load of exposition. If you must bring back Palpatine (and apparently JJ did not see fit to just make Kylo Ren our big bad for some stupid reason) then make Rey a clone. You know the scene in the mirror where she sees herself going on through infinity, she saw that her parents were nobody because they were technically nobody. Palpatine is a corrupted version of a Sith force ghost (previously established in EU materials) and parlays quite well into Palpatine's obsession with eternal life and the story of Darth Plageuis the wise. He needs a host to live forever, and Anakin was supposed to be that host. But Palpatine, a man who played the long con to eliminate the Jedi, didn't put all his eggs in Anakin's basket, he created a back up. He preserved himself in the living force and created Clones using Anakin's DNA in order to embody them in perpetuity, and Rey was one, hence her innate force abilities. Dark Rey is a clone that the emperor embodies through a ritual that kills Kylo Ren, and Rey and Dark Rey duel (Rey has to face HERSELF OMG). The rest could play out more or less the same.

No offence muchacho but thats terribly lame.

[killedbyboard]

Jan 2, 2020 13:53:33 GMT -5 MMST3K said:

Jan 2, 2020 13:41:47 GMT -5 killedbyboard said:

If you have to bring Palpatine back, there was a way they could have done it that would have made sense and preserved the OT and ST storylines without an ass load of exposition. If you must bring back Palpatine (and apparently JJ did not see fit to just make Kylo Ren our big bad for some stupid reason) then make Rey a clone. You know the scene in the mirror where she sees herself going on through infinity, she saw that her parents were nobody because they were technically nobody. Palpatine is a corrupted version of a Sith force ghost (previously established in EU materials) and parlays quite well into Palpatine's obsession with eternal life and the story of Darth Plageuis the wise. He needs a host to live forever, and Anakin was supposed to be that host. But Palpatine, a man who played the long con to eliminate the Jedi, didn't put all his eggs in Anakin's basket, he created a back up. He preserved himself in the living force and created Clones using Anakin's DNA in order to embody them in perpetuity, and Rey was one, hence her innate force abilities. Dark Rey is a clone that the emperor embodies through a ritual that kills Kylo Ren, and Rey and Dark Rey duel (Rey has to face HERSELF OMG). The rest could play out more or less the same.

No offence muchacho but thats terribly lame.

Yeah well of course it is.

[DrewBlood]

if i'm going to adapt the Luuke vs Mara duel from The Last Command, i'd pit Dark Rey against lululemon Ben Solo while Rey is incapacitated by Shee'eev Palpatine. a lot more potential for pathos plus it would echo back to the previous Rey v Kylo fights.

[flyingwhales]

Jan 2, 2020 13:26:48 GMT -5 killedbyboard said:

Jan 2, 2020 13:20:16 GMT -5 flyingwhales said:

This was my gripe, but there’s an argument out there that technically he brought an end to the war and brought a couple decades of peace. In reality, just because one war ends it doesn’t mean the world is free of war. It’ll always come back.

The prophecy was the chosen one was supposed to bring balance to the force, not end war or bring about peace. There are a number of interpretations you can have about what balance is, but Lucas has said that the Sith are an unbalancing of the force, and that their elimination brings balance i.e. He was supposed to destroy the Sith. If Palpatine is back or never died or was cloned or whatever the fuck, then Anakin didn't accomplish anything and did not fulfill any prophecies and the first six movies are essentially pointless.

I can back that, I never knew Lucas confirmed that balance=destroy the sith. Its been my interpretation that the sith (or at least dark side users, whether they align with sith or not) HAVE to exist for true balance. The force is constantly trying to balance itself, so for Palpatine to have been killed would've meant that the only two force users left (that we know of) are both light side users, aka there is no longer balance. So the force would have to balance that out by creating a new, powerful dark side user. That is where I thought Kylo Ren came in, cuz he was insanely powerful. 

[flyingwhales]

Jan 2, 2020 13:41:47 GMT -5 killedbyboard said:

apparently JJ did not see fit to just make Kylo Ren our big bad for some stupid reason

I liked Kylo Ren turning good. That was one piece of the new trilogy that they did right. First movie teases his pull toward the light, he kills Han to prove he is on the dark side. Then in TLJ we see him hesitate to fire on the resistance ship because he knows he is about to kill his mother. By the end of the movie he is saying fuck the jedi, fuck the sith. I thought him turning good was set up perfectly, him ending up being the big bad would've fell a little flat for my tastes.

[killedbyboard]

Jan 2, 2020 14:19:57 GMT -5 flyingwhales said:

Jan 2, 2020 13:41:47 GMT -5 killedbyboard said:

apparently JJ did not see fit to just make Kylo Ren our big bad for some stupid reason

I liked Kylo Ren turning good. That was one piece of the new trilogy that they did right. First movie teases his pull toward the light, he kills Han to prove he is on the dark side. Then in TLJ we see him hesitate to fire on the resistance ship because he knows he is about to kill his mother. By the end of the movie he is saying fuck the jedi, fuck the sith. I thought him turning good was set up perfectly, him ending up being the big bad would've fell a little flat for my tastes.

I mean he can still be the big bad and be redeemed. See: Darth Vader. Or he can be an interesting tragic character, unable to rectify what he has done and the pain he caused, and dies evil desperately wishing he could undo what he did.

That video made a great point about the "be with me" bit, that Kylo could have said that while trying to heal Rey, and the force ghosts commune with him and that's the moment he's redeemed, an act of love and selflessness akin to what Vader did to save Luke, then he really is finishing what his grandfather started.